More Than My Life
by twilightfanjm
Summary: The Cullens believe that Nessie died during the confrontation. Nessie has been living in hiding amongst humans due to a threat Aro made years ago. Then one day seventeen years later it all changes due to a chance encounter at the mall. Now nothing will ever be the same for Nessie and the Cullens ever again.
1. Life

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Just the millions of story ideas bouncing around my head.**

 **Chapter 1: Life**

 **Nessie's POV**

I sat there in the middle of the food court trying to fight off the sudden anxiety I felt. Rexy, my German Shepherd service dog knew exactly what to do to help me calm down. Sometimes I swear he could sense an impending panic attack before I do.

My heart was going a million miles a minutes. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My hands started shaking and I felt like I was losing control as I struggled to fight off the ever increasing anxiety.

Rexy could sense this and he leapt to his feet instantly. He placed his head in my lap and I pet him. I started feeling better.

I looked around but thankfully nobody seemed to notice that there was anything amiss with me. Apart from the fact that I had service dog nobody could tell that there was something wrong with me.

I often thought about what my life would have turned out if I had grown up with my real family. I probably wouldn't be as fucked up as I am right now. My real parents were Edward and Bella Cullen. They were vampires. I was half human and half vampire. Or rather I used to be. Thanks to a witch I met 17 years ago my vampire half disappeared allowing the human half to completely take over.

I shook my head when I thought about the amount of time that had passed since I've seen my parents, my family, and Jacob. When the Volturi came after my family and I 17 years ago a huge battle broke out. I nearly died trying to escape.

My family thinks that I died in that battle. Aro made sure that my family thought I was dead. He threatened me that day as well. He said if I ever returned to my family or revealed what I was to the human world he would kill my whole family and I.

I ran away that night and I never looked back. I lived homeless for awhile. Feeding off of wild animals in the forest. That's when I met a witch. Told me she had the power to change vampires into humans and half vampires into full humans. I accepted her offer to help me without a second thought.

The witch turned me over to the department of children and family services after that so I'd have a chance of getting adopted into another loving family. I did. Suddenly I had a new mother, father, and a little sister named Sarah.

Life suddenly felt a little less sad. I had a family who loved me. I had a little sister who I adored. Then it all changed and my happiness came to an abrupt end one afternoon.

Physically I was around eight years old at the time and my sister was six years old. My parents had warned us many times never to play outside by the pool unsupervised but we didn't listen. One day we were running around playing tag outside when it happened. I was 'it' and when I ran up behind her and tagged my sister I accidentally pushed my sister in the pool.

I ran inside the house screaming for help but it was too late. My little sister was dead and it was all my fault. I lied and told everyone that she had just slipped and fell in. I could never admit that I was the one that accidentally caused her to fall in the pool. I still had nightmares of the day.

Over the next few years I grew more and more anxious and depressed. When I was thirteen years old I tried to commit suicide. I overdosed on painkillers. I just couldn't take the pain, the guilt, and the anxiety anymore.

However I lived. The doctors were able to save me when they pumped my stomach. I stayed in the hospital for several days and after that I was moved to a psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with PTSD, severe anxiety, and depression.

The psychiatrist believes that all my mental health problems stem from seeing my sister die but it goes beyond that. Ever since Aro threatened to kill my family and I if I ever went back to them, or revealed the existence of vampires, he showed up from time to time to check on me. To make sure that I hadn't broken my promise to never go back or reveal the truth about vampires. He reiterated his threat every time I saw him. I was afraid that he'd kill me eventually no matter what I did.

I couldn't tell my psychiatrist about Aro or the Volturi obviously. So I just let my doctor believe that it was solely because of witnessing my sister's death. Not even my psychiatrist knew that I accidentally pushed her in. That certainly was a major part of my problems anyhow.

I was the perfect candidate for a service dog to help me with my problems and that's when Rexy came into life. I've also been on medication for the last four years.

Just when I thought my life couldn't get even shittier I received another diagnosis less than a year ago. Osteosarcoma. Also known as bone cancer. By the time it was discovered it was too late to operate. It had already spread.

Sometimes I think this is God's way of punishing for the role I played in my sister's death. It had to be a punishment for all the pain that I've caused.

Rexy whimpered as he sensed my distress. I ran my hand through his fur again. I felt someone staring at me all of a sudden but I couldn't see who it was. I scanned the food court but I couldn't see anyone.

Then I spotted her across the walkway. A short pixie like girl with pale skin and golden eyes. I felt my blood run cold. Rexy was at my side ready to comfort me again. I rubbed my eyes thinking I was seeing things but I wasn't. It had been 17 years but I'd know her anywhere.

Aunt Alice.

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	2. Impossible

**Chapter 2: Impossible**

 **Nessie's POV**

I rubbed my eyes a few times thinking that I was just seeing things. After all it simply wasn't possible for my aunt Alice to be here. Not now. Not after so many years.

I could feel my anxiety returning. Rexy whimpered. Signaling that I needed to get away before I broke down completely and had a massive panic attack. So I threw out the remainder of my food and headed in the exact opposite direction of my aunt.

I frustratingly found myself stuck in a crowd of people. I bumped into a few people in my hurry to get away. I found myself apologizing a few times.

"Thinks because she has a service dog we all have to move out of the way for her," I heard one particularly annoyed man say. I tried not to get angry. I did apologize didn't I? I looked back at him in annoyance.

I bumped into something ice cold and hard as a rock.

"I'm sorry-" I froze mid-sentence when I saw it was aunt Rosalie. She didn't say anything but just by the look on her face I just knew that she knew it was me. Just like aunt Alice knew it was me.

I could not deny it anymore. I could not escape from it. My family was here. By some twist of fate my family was here. My family had found me and that scared me.

I made it to the mall entrance when I couldn't go any further. I looked back and saw my two aunts watching me from a distance. Rexy nudged me gently when he sensed my distress and I pet his head which calmed me a little. My aunts looked at Rexy and I curiously. Probably wondering why their own niece has a service dog because there's no way they could've missed that detail. A german shepherd with a huge red vest that red "service dog," wasn't easily missed by humans let alone vampires.

I made it outside and all the way to the bus stop without them following me anymore at least. I hated having to sit there and wait for the bus but my parents didn't allow me to drive. They were always worried about what would happen if I suddenly had a panic attack while I was driving. I can't say I blame them either. So I either rode the bus or took an Uber. Bus riding was the more cost effective method of transportation though.

My family. I could feel my heart beating faster. My family was here. I tried not to think of what would happen if Aro found out about this new development. He was going to kill us all. I just knew it. Unless I successfully avoided my family. I had to try to avoid them. For all of our sakes. I didn't know how I was going to do it but I had to try.

"Are you alright?" mom asked me looking fearful. I must have looked worse than I thought.

"I'm alright mom,"

"Are you sure honey? Do you need your medicine? Do you-"

"Mom I swear I'm fine. I have Rexy here to keep me in check," I tried to make a joke out of it but she wasn't laughing.

Mom was the one that discovered me that day. The day that I tried to commit suicide. She found me laying on the bathroom floor unconscious. Surrounded only by an empty bottle of her prescription painkillers. A bottle that had been full to the brim that morning. She described my body as "cold and lifeless," if she would've taken longer to react I would've succeeded in killing myself.

Mom won't admit this but the memory of seeing me lifeless like that stop scared her to this day. Always afraid that I'd try to do something that drastic again. It was a long before my mother entrusted me even with my own medication.

I truly didn't deserve her or my father. They had loved me and taken care of me even though I had so many problems. I often wondered what they would think if they knew that my sister was dead because of me. If they knew that I accidentally pushed her.

I shook my head. I hated even thinking about it. That was my deepest darkest secret. One that I planned on taking all the way to the grave with me.

I went up to my room and started watching a movie with Rexy curled up right next to me. Usually movies helped distract me from my troubles but not this time. My mind wandered back to my family. Because if Alice and Rosalie were here than the rest of my family most certainly was. Even if they weren't after the encounter with my aunts the rest of my family would certainly show up soon. Probably within the next day. As much as I tried to think of ways to avoid them I just didn't see how I would be able to pull that off.

I went to sleep later than usual that night with Rexy curled up right next to me. It wasn't long before the two of us had fallen asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night screaming with pure terror. The nightmare I had been having nightmare after nightmare. Where Aro was trying to kill me. The anxiety and fear filled me from head to toe. I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was dying.

In my panic stricken state I could noticed a few things. I could make out the presence of two figures. Two sets of golden eyes. In my panic struck anxiety filled mind it didn't make any sense and only fueled my terror more. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt like I was going to die.

Within seconds Rexy was wide awake. He jumped right out of my bed and went straight for one of my drawers. He pulled on the handle and got it open. I had many different prescriptions medications in there for my anxiety, PTSD, depression, and of course medicine to help with the cancer. The medication bottle Rexy grabber was meant to help stop an anxiety attack in its tracks. He brought it to me and then brought me a water bottle. This wasn't the first time I'd awoken in the middle of the night panic struck because of a nightmare. So I'd made a point to stock the drawer with water bottles that Rexy could easily grab and bring to me.

My hands shook so badly I could barely take the caps off of the medicine and water bottle but I did. I swallowed the pills and took a few deep calming breaths. Rexy cuddled up right next to me. He licked my face a few times and sent me nothing but calm energy.

I looked around for the two pairs of golden eyes that I thought I spotted earlier but they were gone. I noticed that that the window was open though. Odd because I was sure I had shut it before I went to sleep.

I could feel the panic starting to fade.

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	3. Different

**Chapter 3: Different**

 **Nessie's POV**

My parents didn't even come check on me that night. They'd long gotten used to me waking up in the middle of the night screaming because of a nightmare. They knew that no one was breaking in and attacking me. They also knew that with Rexy by my side I would be okay.

They were right. As soon as I'd taken my medicine Rexy forced his head into my lap. Allowing me to pet him. To run my hand through his fur which always seemed to have a therapeutic affect on me. He licked my face a few times which I only served to calm me more.

I could feel the anxiety leaving my body. My heart started to slow down and return to its pre-panic attack state as the medicine did its job. Once I was completely calm I got up and went to close the window that I was sure I'd already closed the night before.

Eventually I fell asleep again. At least this time I didn't have nightmares and I was able to sleep somewhat more peacefully.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up later that morning was the sun shining brightly outside. I breathed a sigh of relief. If my family was here, and I had no doubts that they were, at least I didn't have to worry about running into them when the sun was up.

"Hey Rexy how do you feel about spending the day at the beach?"

His head shot up automatically and his tail started wagging. Sometimes I swore that dog understood English perfectly. A day at the beach usually meant playing a lot of fetch and sand was his middle name.

As soon as I started walking down the stairs the smell of waffles hit my nose. My stomach growled in response.

"Breakfast is ready sweetheart," mom said as soon as she saw me.

"Thanks mom,"

No mention of me waking up screaming in the middle of the night. I was used to that as well. To my parents just pretending they hadn't heard me at all. They were used to it and I understood that.

"Any special plans today?"

"Probably just going to go to the beach. That's all,"

"By yourself?"

"I won't be by myself I'll have Rexy as usual. He loves chasing frisbees and playing in the sand,"

"Nessie I worry about you spending so much time alone,"

"Well mom it's not like I have other friends to hang around with. Everyone sees the service dog and knows I'm different and runs the opposite direction," I tried to laugh and make a joke out of it but the truth is that it did bother me. It bothered me a lot.

No one wanted to be friends with a girl that had issues. My mother did not know this but I was made fun and bullied a lot for being 'different'. I didn't tell my parents because they already worried about me enough as it was. If I told them what was happening at school it would just be a lot worse.

As for a boyfriend? Well that was definitely out of the picture. Winter formal was less than a month away. At my school it was a girl's choice. Meaning the girls were the ones asking the guys out. A few weeks ago I worked up the nerve to ask a guy named Joshua. Being the star quarterback on the football team he was easily the most popular, and in my opinion hottest, guy in school.

He flat out laughed in my face and told me he "could never be seen with a crippled girl like you,". By lunch word had got around that I had asked him to the dance and I became the laughing stock of the entire school. I went home that night and cried myself to sleep. I still get laughed at every day for asking him out.

I guess I should've known that would happen. No guy wants to be with a girl like me. Accepting that I might never find the right guy for me, that I might never get the chance to have a family one day, was something that was hard for me to accept. Maybe it was for the best though. After all I was dying of cancer.

My mom's staring caught my attention and brought me out of my thoughts. I could clearly see the look of worry on her face.

"Mom I wish you wouldn't worry so much. I'm used to being alone. Rexy is all the company that I need,"

She sighed but didn't say anything.

So after breakfast I put on a bathing suit underneath my clothes and gathered up all of my things. I probably wouldn't go swimming but I did enjoy sunbathing in my bathing suit. I had to hurry up though because if I didn't leave soon I would miss the bus and would have to wait another hour for the next one.

It was surprisingly crowded at the beach for being mid November but then again the temperature was still in the mid eighties. I immediately felt a sense of calm overcome as I looked out at the ocean. As soon as I got settled in I removed the 'service dog' vest from Rexy. Rexy knew it was playtime whenever I did that. He happily ran after the ball every time I threw it. Once the ball ended up in the water and he still chased after it. He shook the water out of his fur before running back to me with the ball.

A few hours later my stomach started to growl. There was a burger shack on the beach just a little ways away. My stomach growled even louder just at the thought of a juicy burger and fries.

"Come on Rexy let's go," he immediately got up and stood by my side. "Burger sound good to you?"

He barked and wagged his tail as if to say "yes of course!"

I had gotten all the way to stand when I realized that I didn't have any cash on me nor did they accept cards. Great. Just great. I had walked about halfway back already when a hand, an extremely hot to the touch hand, grabbed me and stopped me.

I jumped and nearly fainted of shock when I saw who it was. He had not changed or aged a day in the last 17 years.

"Jacob!" I shouted. "Oh Jacob!"

He hugged me tight to his chest with his hot, muscled arms. I had my arms around him. Embracing him as tightly as I could manage. My best friend, my Jacob was here. For the first time in a really long time I smiled a true, genuine smile.

Then I realized that Jacob was crying. "I knew you weren't dead. They didn't believe me but I knew in my heart that you weren't dead. I could sense when you were in danger and I would've known it in my heart if you had died," he said. "But they didn't believe me,"

"Jacob," now I was crying.

"Jake you're here. You're really here,"

He held me at arm's distance and looked me up and down from head to toe. I did the same to him as well. I noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Back when I was a child he never wore a shirt either but I didn't really take notice of it then. But 17 years has a way of changing people because I definitely took notice of it now. His noticeable six pack. All of his muscles. So many muscles...

"What-what are you doing here?" I asked tearfully. He wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"Looking for you. Since its sunny out your parents sent me to look for you and bring you to them,"

Cue the anxiety.

He hugged me once more. Then, for a brief second at least, everything felt right in the world.

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	4. Can't Hide From The Past

**Chapter 4: Can't Hide From The Past**

 **Nessie's POV**

I could feel Jacob's hot breath on the back of my neck as he held me to his chest. I didn't mind it in the least. Listening to Jacob's heart beating inside his chest was soothing. Everything about Jacob's presence was soothing to me. I had missed him so much and I wanted this moment to last forever.

"I can't believe that I finally found you,"

"I can't believe that you are really here,"

"I can't believe it either," he said.

"I missed you Jake. I really did,"

I didn't realize that I had started crying again until he once again wiped my tears away. Ever so carefully with his thumb I might add.

"How did you know that I was going to be here?" I questioned. "At the beach I mean,"

"Alice" of course it would be my aunt. "She had a vision of you coming here the moment you decided to come. Although she is still trying to figure out why she can have visions of you now when she wasn't able to before,"

When I thought about it didn't make any sense to me either. None of this was making any sense to me. After all these years of successfully hiding among humans how is it possible that I would suddenly, and so unexpectedly, cross paths with my supernatural family once again?

"You're human," Jacob said in sudden realization. "That is why your heartbeat is slower and your temperature is lower. That's why your skin isn't as pale and that's why you're sweating. It's because you're human,"

I blushed with embarrassment at the whole _you're sweating_ part.

"Also there's something about your scent. It still smells like you but it smells different. Tainted somehow,"

Tainted. I could only think of one thing that might affect my scent. My cancer. If animals could detect cancer in a human than surely Jacob, and the rest of my family would as well. I tried not to dwell on that thought.

"How are you human?"

I took a deep breath. I should've known that this was inevitable from the moment I first crossed paths with my family yesterday. I should have known that no matter how hard that I tried I wouldn't be able to keep hiding from them. They were going to find me one way or another and I would have a lot of questions to answer for.

"I can not explain. Not here at least,"

My stomach growled. Which only reminded me that I hadn't had lunch yet.

"Why don't we go get something to eat first and then I will take you to the rest of the family,"

I gulped nervously. Ready or not I knew that I had no choice. My family has thought that I was dead all these years. It was only to be expected that if they ever found out I was alive they would have a lot of questions for me. Questions that I would have to answer for whether I was ready or not.

So I walked back to the spot where I had left all of my stuff. I could almost see all the questions going through Jacob's head as I put the service dog vest back on Rexy. All the questions and all the concern. Extreme concern. He didn't say anything though. Which I was thankful for because I wasn't ready to talk about all of my mental health problems.

"So where did you park?' he asked.

"Oh I don't drive. I have a bus pass,"

"Oh well even better you can come with me then," he had a smile on his face when he said that. "Know any good places to eat around here?"

"I know plenty,"

For the first time in a really long time I felt really happy. After suffering from depression for so long feeling this happy felt strange. The medication had helped me and made me less depressed but I had never achieved this level of happiness. It felt foreign even. I liked it. I craved it. I wanted more of it. I wanted this feeling of pure bliss to never end.

I didn't know what to say next. I just knew that I wanted to hear Jacob talk.

"I knew it. I always knew that you were alive but they didn't believe me,"

"How did you know that I was alive?" I asked curiously.

"I can't explain it but I always just knew that you were alive. I could sense it whenever you were in danger. I could sense it whenever you were close to death and it nearly drove me crazy. It drove me crazy because I didn't know where you were, how I could save you, or if you were going to live or not,"

I felt my heart quicken in pace but then I shook my head. There was no way that Jacob could've possibly known when I was in danger and when I wasn't. Yet, why would he make up something like that? It didn't make any sense.

"Your family kept telling me that I should just let it go and move on. Not even your mother believed me. Until yesterday anyway,"

"Wow," was all that I could say.

"I don't understand something," Jacob said after several moments of awkward silence. "You have been alive all this time. Why didn't you ever come back home? To your family?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Jacob but I can't tell you,"

"What do you mean that you can't tell me?" he asked. I could hear the anger rising in his voice.

"I can't tell you. I literally can't. I want to tell you but I'm tightly bound here. I can't say anything,"

"Okay. Since you don't want to tell me I will not ask anymore. I do hope you realize though that I am not the only one that is going to be asking you these questions. I think after so many years o letting your family believe that you were dead we, at the very least, deserve to know the reason why,"

I could tell that Jacob was angry just in the way that his body was shaking. The way he was fighting to avoid phasing on the spot. I felt horrible. I wanted to say something. Everyone deserved to know the truth. I just didn't know how to tell them what they wanted to know without endangering everyone. The thought alone gave me anxiety.

My anxiety began to rise again. I could feel it in my quickening heart rate and rapid breathing. I took deep breaths to calm myself down. Rexy, sensing my anxiety from the backseat, whined. As if he were trying to inform me that I needed to calm down before I had a full blown anxiety attack.

"Are you okay Nessie?" Jacob asked, the anger being replaced by deep concern as he noticed my distress.

"I'm okay," and truly I was. It seemed like all I needed was to hear his voice to relax again.

We arrived at a burger place for a lunch a few minutes later. Thankfully with no more questions from Jake that I wasn't willing to answer. Also thankfully with no more anxiety.

"So do you have a new family?" Jacob asked after we sat down.

"I have adoptive parents. I had an adoptive sister as well but she died," I shuddered at the memory of my sister's drowning and the role I played in her death when I accidentally pushed her in the pool.

"I'm sorry,"

"What about you Jacob? Surely you've gotten married and had kids by now,"

Jacob almost choked on his food.

"Actually that could not be further from the truth," he said.

"What? Why?"

"It doesn't matter," he said. "Anyway we better get back because your mother is getting angry that I'm keeping you from her," he added as he looked at a text message on his phone.

I didn't know what to think or how to feel when we began the drive that would lead me to my vampire family. I was afraid of all the questions that would be asked. I had been running from past for so long that I didn't know what do now that I was about to be confronted by it. Slowly thought I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that I could no longer hide from my past.

The house, I noted when we drove up to it, looked a lot like the one that I had lived in back in Forks. Rexy, Jacob, and I had barely walked two steps when I was suddenly being crushed in the hard, ice cold, embrace of my mother. I could hear her sobs loud and clear though she could no longer cry. I started crying for the both of us.

"Baby,"

"Mom," I choked out through my tears.

She hugged me as tightly as she could do so without crushing me to death. She covered my face with kisses and I just cried into her chest. I hadn't seen my mother since I was really little. Only a few months old actually. There was one thing I was absolutely certain of in that moment though. No amount of time could ever change the amount of love that we had for each other.

I started becoming aware of everyone else. Grandpa Carlisle, grandma Esme, aunt Rosalie, aunt Alice, uncle Jasper, uncle Emmett, and of course my father. My father looked like he wanted to come rip me away from my mother and hug me to death himself. I think if it were possible my father would have been crying as well. I was sure that my whole family would have been in tears. But they all respected the moment that my mother and I were having.

I suddenly became painfully aware of how close I came to never seeing any of them again. How, if I had succeeded in my suicide attempt when I swallowed all those pills I would've never been able to reunite with my family.

The look my father suddenly gave me was frightening. Then I remembered that he could read minds. Oh fuck! Oh holy shit he just read my mind when I thought about my suicide attempt! Oh this was not going to be good. Uh oh...

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	5. Time Gone By

**Chapter 5: Time Gone By**

 **Nessie's POV**

I could've remained in my mother's arms for the rest of eternity and I would have been happy. Of course that wasn't the case though. The rest of my family would simply not allow it. Once my father had determined that my mother had enough time with me it was him hugging me to death.

I could almost feel my father's tension mixed in with his happiness. I knew for sure that he had definitely seen the memories of my suicide attempt playing in my head. There was no way I was going to be able to escape the inevitable conversation and all the questions that would come up in that conversation. Questions that I was in no way ready to answer.

After my father it was my grandparents turn to have their way with me. They were just as loving as I remembered them. I couldn't help but laugh when they both covered my face in kisses. Grandpa sniffed me and immediately a look of grave concern overcame him. It was gone as soon he saw that I noticed.

I remembered what Jacob had said about my scent smelling tainted. If my theory about the cancer being causing the tainted smell was correct than my grandfather's reaction made sense. Having been a doctor for the last three centuries he undoubtedly has come across many cancer ridden patients over the years and would recognize the tainted smell for what it was.

I didn't have much time to ponder over that though as my aunts and uncles had their turn with me next. Aunt Alice was just as hyper as ever. Aunt Rosalie was just as adoring as she used to be. Uncle Emmett was just as goofy as I remembered him. Uncle Jasper was well uncle Jasper.

Then it was back to my mother hugging me. It was odd when I looked around at my family. They hadn't changed at all over the years. Of course I always knew that my family would never age but actually seeing them unchanged all these years later was something else entirely. Especially because I did change. I could pass for my mom or dad's sister now rather than their daughter. Grandpa and grandma never looked like they were old enough to be grandparents even when I was a baby. Now that I'm so much closer to them in physical age appearance it became even stranger.

"I think we should go inside now and talk. Because one is long overdue apparently," dad with authority. As if he were trying to let me know that no matter how much time passed, no matter how close I am to him in physical age appearance now, he was still my father and therefore in charge of me.

"Edward is right," grandpa agreed. "There is so much we need to discuss,"

My heart started pounding with anxiety as I nodded. I felt my body shake slightly and immediately Rexy forced his head under my hand so that I may let him to calm my nerves. Out of the corner of my eye I caught uncle Jasper looking at me quizzically but he didn't say anything.

When we went inside we went and sat down on a couch in the living room. Rexy lied down right by my feet. Ready to spring into action and comfort me whenever I needed it.

"Baby if you were alive all this time why didn't you come back home?" I gulped nervously when mom asked the first question.

"I-I couldnt,"

"What do you mean you couldnt?!" dad roared. "What could possibly make you think that letting us believe you were dead for seventeen years was the best option?!"

"I can't tell you. I want to but I cant," I gulped nervously.

"That answer doesn't cut it Renesmee Carlie Cullen," uh oh. Mom was using my full name now. That's not a good sign.

I looked everywhere but at my parents. Trying to calm my nerves and clear my head. Everyone was waiting for the answer. I couldn't say it though. Not when it would endanger everyone. Aro's many visits and threats assured me that he would follow through and kill us all if I-

"This is Aro's fault?!" dad screamed. "Aro has been threatening and tormenting you all these years?!"

I fought to keep myself together. I could feel a panic attack coming on and I didn't want my family to witness it. Rexy was there comforting me immediately but a sudden wave of calm hit me out of nowhere and relaxed me ten times faster than Rexy could. Even my service dog looked at me in confusion wondering how I had calmed down so fast.

"Son calm down. You're scaring your daughter. Nessie can you please explain what your father just said?" Leave it to grandpa to take charge quickly.

I tried to think of a way to avoid answering the question but came up empty. I didn't have a choice. The time I wished would never come has already come to pass. The time to answer questions on why I've been avoiding and allowing my family to believe I was dead.

"When I regained consciousness after the battle Aro found me and threatened me. He said that if I ever came back home he would kill me and all of you," I whispered but I knew that could hear me anyway. I started crying and right away my mother was there comforting me. Just like when I was little.

"He's checked on me many times throughout the years to make sure I've been keeping my promise and I and I-"

I couldn't continue on anymore as the memories flooded my mind causing my anxiety to skyrocket.

Again, out of nowhere a wave of sudden calm hit me. I was able to keep myself together and stop crying.

"Aro that no good son of-" Jacob was shaking so hard he couldn't even finish speaking.

"We can't let Aro get away with this! What he did to my niece!" Uncle Emmett shouted. I don't I've ever seen uncle Emmett look as angry as he did right now.

"He's been checking on me all this time. Making sure I've never seemed you out or ever revealed our existence to humans. Being a human now and living with humans now has him especially worried and-"

"Wait a minute you're human now?" Grandma asked in confusion.

"That would explain why I was able to have a vision of you when I couldn't before," and aunt Alice.

"How is that possible?" aunt Rosalie asked curiously.

"I met a witch,"

"A witch?" Mom questioned. "There is no such thing as witches,"

"Bella one could say the same thing about vampires, shapeshifters, and half human-half vampire hybrids," Grandpa said. "I'm not above believing other supernatural creatures exist. Nessie please tell us who is this witch and what did she do to you?"

I took a deep breath before beginning my story. "I was travelling through a town named Greendale. I don't know what state it's in though but I do remember the name of the town. I ran into a teenage girl named Sabrina Spellman. She told me she was a witch. Well technically she is only half witch and half human. Her aunts Hilda and Zelda are full witches but Sabrina kept ke hidden from them somehow. She believed me when I told her what I was and told me she could help me. She had a spell that could turn vampires human and vampire-human hybrids fully human. So she did. Once she did she turned me over to the department of children and family services and I got adopted. The rest is pretty much history,"

"A witch that can turn a vampire human," aunt Rosalie muttered. Looking like she was deep in thought.

Just when I thought I was out of the woods someone, I think it was uncle Emmett had to ask the question. "Nessie why do you have a service dog?"

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	6. Mom

**Chapter 6: Mom**

 **Nessie's POV**

I sat there unable to move or even breathe as everyone stared at me, awaiting my answer. Oddly enough I didn't feel any anxiety at all. Normally I would've been a wreck when being faced with such a question.

 _Why do you have a service dog?_ The question echoed throughout my head as I sought for an answer that wouldn't give away how screwed up I was. My family deserved to have the strong little girl they once knew. Not this anxiety riddled, depressed, cancerous girl that was me.

I took a deep breath. "I have a problem with anxiety. He keeps me calm,"

I want sure if they were satisfied with my answer or not. Although my hunch was that they weren't satisfied with my short answer. After all a lot of people had anxiety issues and managed just fine without a service dog. Looking at my father I could see that he was the least satisfied of all. No doubt he was currently picking through my brain trying to discover all of my hidden secrets.

Great. Just what every girl dreams of. Having a father that can read her mind at all times. Just cracked a smile in amusement. Which only confirmed what I was thinking. I guess privacy is officially out the door when he's around.

I loved being with my family and thankfully they didn't ask anymore questions about Rexy. I would've stayed longer if it wasn't for my parents, my human ones that is, calling me and asking me where I was. It wasn't like me to stay out of contact with them for very long.

I know it bothered mom to hear me calling someone else mom instead of her. She tried to hide it for my sake but I could sti tell it hurt her deeply. Pain was something I was all too familiar with and it was at the point where I could see when other people were suffering.

I reluctantly said goodbye to everyone as I left and made my way over to the bus stop. I couldn't stop thinking about my family. I knew they had only just begun with the questions. They just simply didn't want to overwhelm me all at once. I could sense it that my family knew I wasn't telling the qhe story when I told them I had a problem with anxiety.

As soon as I got home I decided to work on my homework to keep my mind occupied. I finished up my Spanish homework first and then moved onto math. My English homework was already done. I didn't even touch my history homework. I had to do a research paper on the civil war. I didn't know much about the civil war and didn't really care to do the research on it. That just left Biology.

Most of my grades were subpar. All ranging from the Ds to Fs. The only decent grade I had was an A in English. Why should I give a crap about my grades anyway when I wasn't going to college? I'll be lucky if I live long enough to see my graduation day at the rate my cancer is progressing.

I heard someone knock on my door just as I was finishing up my Biology homework.

"Come in mom," I said.

"Honey I'm just letting you know that your dad and I are going out tonight so you'll be on your own for dinner,"

"Okay mom. I'll probably just order pizza and dessert,"

Mom gave me a hug before leaving. I was happy to see my parents going out. After my suicide attempt they were afraid to leave me alone for any length of time. It took them a really long time to get to the point where they could start going out and having date nights again. I wasn't stupid. I knew it had taken a toll on their marriage. I felt horrible every time I thought about it. So when they finally decided I was okay to be on my own again I was happy for then.

I was fine on my own anyway. Rexy, Pizza, dessert, and movies was really all needed. I went and took a shower after I submitted the order. The hot water felt good and relaxing after the long emotional day I had.

As soon as I exited the bathroom I heard a strange noise coming from my room. I screamed when i turned the light on and saw my mother scribbling furiously on a piece of paper.

"Mom!"

She immediately stopped what she was doing and nearly crushed me in another tight hug.

"Mom what are you doing here?!"

"Well right now I'm redoing your Biology assignment because you got everything wrong here,"

"Seriously mom what are you doing here?"

"I came because I had to see you again sweetie. I can't bare to be apart from you again," she said. "So I came through your window and while I was waiting for you I saw what a horrible job you did on your assignment and decided to redo it for you correctly,"

'Uh thanks?"

"Good thing we are enrolling in your high school. That way-"

"Wait what?"

"We enrolled at the same high school you attend. Only we didn't know it was your high school. We picked it because Alice had a hunch that this is the school we needed to be at. We didn't know until you mentioned the name earlier,"

Oh boy. The thought of my family attending Jefferson High with ne scared me. There was no way I was going to be able to hide my grades and tormentors from them. I didn't want my family to know what I went through on a daily basis because then they would just see what a loser I am.

My status as a loser and a freak had only intensified in the weeks following me asking Joshua, the hottest guy in school, to the winter formal.

"All of you are coming to my school?"

"Just Jacob, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper , Emmett, your father and I," she said. "Why do you look so worried?"

"What? Me? Worried? Nah I'm fine," my heart was beating a million times a minute.

Mom raised an eyebrow at me in suspicion and I gulped nervously. "Renesmee Carlie Cullen if there's one thing you inherited from me it's your inability to lie. What's going on?'

"Nothing!" I said a little too quickly. Thankfully the doorbell rang at that exact moment therefore saving me from anymore questions.

I nearly tripped running down the stairs. I thanked the pizza guy as he handed me my delivery and left. As soon as I turned around I saw my mom standing there. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Damnd that was going to take some getting used to!

"Mom you've really got to stop doing that. You're going to give me a heart attack appearing out of nowhere like that,"

"Baby the only thing that's going to give you a heart attack is eating that type of food," she said indicating to my pizza and my ultimate Hersheys chocolate chip cookie.

"Hey it's just pizza and dessert. Do you want some?"

"Sweetie I don't eat. Remember?"

"Oh that's right. Sorry I'm just not used to being in the presence of people who don't eat," I said as I got a plate and served myself.

"Your grandfather would not approve. Hes against all junk food and he would definitely give you a long lecture about the dangers of drinking soda,"

"Oh there's nothing dangerous about soda,"

"Not according to your grandfather. He says you have a much higher risk of getting stomach cancer when you drink soda,"

I couldn't believe it. I still couldn't believe that my mother was here. If you'd told me a day and a half ago that I would be here talking about pizza and soda with my biological mother I would've thought you were nuts. But here we are. In all honesty I didn't care what we talked about. I was just happy to be with my mother again after so many years.

"Want to watch a movie?" I asked.

"Sure sweetie,"

"What do you want to watch?"

"I don't care baby. I probably won't be paying much attention to it anyway. Not when I have my daughter back,"

I went through the many movies I had and played one. Once the movie started mom almost had a heart attack.

"Fifty Shades of Grey!"

"What can I say? It's my favorite trilogy,"

"You watch Fifty Shades of Grey?!"

"and I have a the books,"

"Your father is going to freak out when he finds out. Out of all the movies in the world-"

I tried to stifle a laugh at my mom's outburst. If mom reacted this way dad would definitely be worse.

After the movie she headed upstairs while I cleaned up downstairs. I went upstairs shortly after and started getting ready for bed.

"Nessie do you have any photos?"

"Photos of what?"

"Of you. When you were growing up,"

"Sure I have a bunch of albums on my computer actually if you want to look through them "

"Yes I want to see them,"

There were a lot of pictures. Pictures of me, my parents, and my family. I had aunts, uncles, and cousins. I didn't see then very often since we all lived far apart but they always came over for Christmas and New Years.

"Who is this little girl that you're with here?"

I gasped when I saw my little sister Sarah. "That's my sister Sarah. She died. Accidentally drowned when we were little,"

"I am so sorry,"

"It's okay,"

Mom continued looking through my pictures. I had countless birthday, elementary and middle school graduation, vacation, and holiday pictures on their with my family throughout the years. Mom looked like she was about to cry as she looked through my countless Christmas pictures.

I loved Christmas. It was my favorite time of the year. Despite all the problems I dealt with I had very fond memories of Christmas. There was pictures of me eating. Pictures of me opening Christmas presents. There was a ton of family pictures. There were pictures of my cousins and I covered head to toe in snow because we always got into snowball fights on Christmas. We also tended to get into food fights so there were pictures of us smiling even though we were covered in Turkey, ham, mashed potatoes and gravy.

Mom suddenly stood up. She looked deeply upset as she pushed her way past me. "I'm sorry. I just-i can't,"

That's when I heard her crying in the bathroom. I was sure if it were possible her face would be covered in tears right now.

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	7. Pain

**Chapter 7: Pain**

 **Nessie's POV**

I wasn't sure how long my mother was away crying in the bathroom. I wanted to do something to comfort her but I wasn't sure what would ease her pain. Her pain wasn't physical like my pain like the one caused by my cancer. Rather it was a mental pain. One that stemmed from her losing me so many years ago. For so long she believed that I was dead and now to suddenly find out that I was alive and had lived my entire childhood separately from her couldn't have been easy.

I knew this because it hadn't been easy for me either. Every time I celebrated a birthday, a graduation/promotion, a holiday, or went on a vacation I thought of the Cullens. I thought of my first family. It saddened me that they weren't there with me. It could never be though. I would never see my family again. It was a fact that I had accepted until recently. At some point I fell asleep waiting for my mom. Pain was the first thing that I noticed when I begun to wake up a few hours later. Pain deep within my bones. Even the slightest movement caused deep pain to radiate throughout every bone in my body. My bones, my joints, everything hurt. Pain such as this had only become more and more frequent since my osteosarcoma diagnosis. The doctor had warned me that it would happen and that there wasn't much I could do but manage my pain.

"Owww!" I cried and felt tears fall out of my eyes due to the worsening pain. I just wanted the pain to stop. The hurting to stop.

"Baby what's wrong?!" mom asked, sounding very alarmed.

"Pain," was all that I could manage to say.

As soon as I said the word 'pain' Rexy was out of my bed and opening up my drawer where I kept all of my medication. He grabbed my pain medication and brought it to me. Only I didn't have the strength to open it so he handed it to my mom instead. He also handed her one of my water bottles to open for me.

With my mother's help I was able to sit up and take the pain medication. I leaned against my mother's ice cold body. Her freezing body temperature was enough to numb the pain while the medication took it's time to kick in. My mother didn't seem to mind in the least. Rexy curled up next to me and looked at me with such sadness that it broke my heart.

"Nessie what's wrong?"

I opened my mouth to answer my mom's question but then shut it without saying a word. I didn't want to say the words that would completely shatter her into a million pieces. My mother had been through enough pain because of me. Enough pain to last a few lifetimes. I didn't want to add to that pain.

How was I supposed to tell my own mother that I was dying? How was I supposed to tell her that I had to stop doing chemotherapy because my insurance wouldn't pay for it? Because my family could not afford it? How was I supposed to tell her that I was going to die in less than a year or two? That the only thing I could do was to manage the pain and wait to die?

I just could not bring myself to do it.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen," mom was bringing out her stern voice. Not a good sign.

"I-I can't say,"

"You can't or you won't? Renesmee I asked you a question and I want an answer and I want it now,"

"Mom trust me you don't want the answer,"

"I don't want the answer as to what is causing my daughter such immense pain that she can't even move without crying. Such immense pain that it requires strong pain prescription medication? Yes I do want the truth no matter what it is. I need to know what is going on with you and I-"

"I have cancer," I blurted out. I could feel my body shaking. I struggled to catch my breath as my heart raced and my hands shook. "I have osteosarcoma which is bone cancer. Some days I don't have pain and others well-"

"What do you mean you have cancer?" mom sounded like she was crying again.

"I was diagnosed less than a year ago. Before you ask yes it's terminal. There's nothing I can do to stop it unless I start chemotherapy again. Which I can't because insurance won't pay for it anymore and my parents can't afford it," Once I had started speaking I couldn't stop. The words just kept spilling out of my mouth.

"No! No! No! That can't be!"

"It is mom. You just have to accept what is. If anything though I'm glad I got to see you and dad again and everyone else before I die,"

"No stop saying that! Do not say that word again!"

Rexy shoved his way into my arms. His presence instantly soothing me. I really was truly blessed to have a service dog like him. He always knew what to do. He always seemed to know exactly hot to calm me down. He always knew exactly what medication I needed and when. Whether it was anxiety medication for my panic attacks or pain medication for my cancer. He was smart. Maybe too smart. Even for a well trained service dog sometimes I felt that he was a little too freakishly smart.

Before I could even blink mom had suddenly gotten up and was out the window.

"Where are you going?"

"To see your grandfather. I need to talk to Carlisle,"

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	8. School

**Chapter 8: School**

 **Nessie's POV**

I didn't know what to think after my mom left very upset looking. I started crying at all the pain that I had caused and was continuing to cause. Causing pain was something that I was exceedingly good at.

Rexy kicked my face a few times which made me giggle and smile. I rubbed my hands through his fur. Once the pain medication kicked in I was able to move again. I just laid there in bed all day with Rexy at my side.

I went to sleep early that night and didn't wake up until my alarm clock went off at 6am. I groaned. I hated Mondays. There was only one thing I hated more than Mondays and that was school. I refused to move until Rexy shoved his head underneath me and started pushing.

"Okay! Okay! I'm up! I'm up!,"

I internally sighed.

"Can't you just let me skip one day of school boy?"

He shook his head no. Nodding his head in agreement or disagreement was something he did quite often and frankly and freaked the hell out of me sometimes. I got out of bed as quickly as I could and just threw on whatever clothes my hands landed on first without really caring.

I poured myself a bowl of cereal and Rexy a bowl of his dog food. I was halfway finished with my breakfast when my human mom appeared. She looked at me with worry. Having a child with as many problems as I have could not have been easy.

"Good morning mom,"

"Good morning sweetie. You all ready for today?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said as I stood up and placed my empty bowl in the sink.

"Okay Nessie don't forget about your doctor's appointment is today at 4pm,"

"I know mom. I'll head over there right after school,"

I didn't even know why I bothered with doctor's appointments. They asked me the same questions every time. They told me the same thing every time. That I was going to die without treatment. I already knew this. I don't understand how they can look me in the eye and tell me that I'm going to die unless pay for a treatment I cannot afford.

The only thing I did know is that going to these appointments made my parents happy. So I went just to make them happy not because I thought my cancer would magically be cured by going. It was the same with the psychiatrist. The medication prescribed for my depression and anxiety helped but talking to a psychiatrist could only help so much when I couldn't tell them everything that was going on with me. Not without either A) Revealing the supernatural world and risking the death of Aro and the rest of the Volturi or B) Ending up in the psych ward for good.

I was half expecting my family to be there when I got to school but I couldn't find them anywhere. I was kind of happy that I could put off having my family see what a pathetic loser I am for at least another day.

I was getting my books locker when someone walked into me and nearly causing me to fall over.

"Eww get out of my way you freak!" Stacy laughed. I wanted to say something but the words did not come. They never did. "Still can't believe you thought a guy like Joshua would ever go out with a girl like you," she laughed as she started walking away.

I took a few deep calming breaths. I was used to this kind of daily treatment. Stacy was one of my worst tormentors. She and her friends would go out of their way to torment me. The whole school pretty much thought I was a freak though.

I took my seat at the back of the class once I arrived to first period Math. Joshua laughed when I passed by him. "Still can't believe that freak actually had the nerve to ask me out. Crippled freak," I heard his friends chuckling at his comment. Meanwhile I tried to act like his comment didn't bother me. Even though I was fairly certain that he knew it bothered me.

It bothered me even more that even though he was such a jerk I still had a crush on him. If he asked me for forgiveness and asked me out on a date or to winter formal I probably would forgive him and say yes.

I tore my gaze away from Joshua once class started. I was working on the math assignment we had been given for the day when I felt something smack into the side of my head. It was a rolled up piece of paper.

I opened it up and it read 'A crippled freak like you can never be with a guy like Joshua. You're nothing but an ugly crippled freak' I looked up and saw Jennifer trying her hardest not to laugh. Meanwhile I was fighting tears the whole time.

It was definitely a good thing my family wasn't here to see this. I looked out the window and silently thanked the sun for shining brightly and giving me an extra day. It was only a day but I would take it. I felt someone throw a pen and I heard someone snickering. It didn't matter I guess. I was used to the other students throwing things at me, making fun of me, and bullying me. None of the teachers seemed to notice or care anyway.

I was on my way to the restroom during break when someone tripped me. "Loser!" I recognized Leslie's voice instantly. Everyone just stood around and laughed. You'd think I'd know better by now and always watch out for people who love to trip me.

When it was lunch time I went to buy my food and sit at the table I usually sit at by myself. As I was walking though I suddenly tripped over someone's foot again and my food went flying all over the place. Laughter erupted around me. "Watch where you're stepping you freaking loser!"

I gathered my food as fast as I could. Thankfully all of the food was packaged and therefore I could still eat it. I stood out as the only person who ate alone and I hated it. I only had Rexy. Thank goodness for that dog. I didn't know what I would do without him.

I was watching everyone when I noticed Stacy and Joshua sitting together. I was pretty sure that they were an item. As soon as they caught me looking I turned away but it was too late. I could hear people laughing and someone stomping their way over to me.

"Listen up you freak! I suggest you get it through you're thick skull already. A guy like Joshua will never be with someone like you. A guy that looks like him will never look at a girl like you. You know why? Because I'm beautiful, good looking, and normal. Unlike you! I'm the type of girl that gets all the hot guys. While you? You'll be lucky if any man ever looks at you more than once. So I suggest you get used to the idea already,"

I almost started crying. Almost. Mostly because I knew it was true.

"Oh are you going to cry?" she laughed "Look at this everyone she is going to cry!"

I could not take it anymore. I got up and ran to the bathroom and hid in one of the stalls sobbing while Rexy comforted me. When the bell rang I was tempted to ditch but I knew my parents would be furious if they found out so I went.

The weather seemed to reflect my depressed mood as it got cloudier and cloudier. Thankfully there were no more incidents for the rest of the day. I escaped the school grounds at the end of the day and ran to the nearest bus stop that would take me all the way to the hospital.

I arrived just barely in time. I had waited not even five minutes before I was called in. Less than five minutes later the door opened revealing not my usual doctor but my grandfather.

"Grandpa?"

He smiled. "You probably shouldn't call me that here Nessie. People might hear you,"

"But-but how?"

"When I was hired I took on some of the patients that belonged to the other doctors here who had too many patients. As luck would have it you were reassigned to me,"

"I-"

"I've been going through your file all day and I've come across some unsettling things here that I want to address with you,"

"Okay," I gulped.

"You attempted suicide a few years ago?"

My grandfather was struggling to remain professional. I could only imagine how he felt discovering that his own granddaughter attempted suicide by reading it on a piece of paper.

"Yes,"

"It was a really dark time in my life. I watched my sister die and I just couldn't take it anymore. Can we talk about something else?"

"It says here that you're depressed, have severe anxiety, and ADHD. You also have cancer as well,"

"Yes that is all true,"

"Your psychiatrist has noted that you're not doing as well as you should be by now. That medication has helped and so has your dog but she thinks it's not enough,"

"Why?"

"I think we both know why Nessie. Its because it's more than watching your sister die. It's because there is other things that you can't tell a doctor about,"

"I, well, yes but-"

"So I'm going to recommend that you change psychiatrists to one that you can talk to. One that you can tell everything to,"

"What are you talking about grandpa? I can't talk to anyone about everything. You know that,"

"Not unless there is someone who already knows. Nessie it just so happens that I have a friend who just started working here in the psychiatric department,"

My eyes widened in understanding "You mean there is a vampire psychiatrist here?" I whispered.

"Yes there is and I think she will be much more beneficial to you than your current doctor. It's worth a try,"

"and I'm also going to get you restarted on your chemotherapy treatment as well,"

"But I can't afford it,"

"Don't you worry about that Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I will take care of that. You just worry about getting better,"

I felt my heartbeat pick up in pace. Rext, sensing my discomfort, put his head up against my body. I stroke him several times to relax.

"Nessie where did you get that dog?" Carlisle suddenly asked me.

"A service dog training school when he was just a puppy. That's where there trained and bred. They actually chose to breed Rexy because of his calm demeanor. His first litter of puppies was just birn actually. Why? Is something wrong?"

"There is something about him. I first sense it the other day and I smell it to. He's definitely part dog but there is something else,"

"I'm confused,"

"Normal animals are afraid of vampires and will flee the second they sense us. Even well trained ones. Yours seems completely at ease around vampires. Venom is also deadly to animals so this doesn't make any sense,"

"What are you talking about?"

Instead of answering me he left. He returned a few minutes later with a bag of donated blood. Rexy was on his feet instantly. Licking his lips like he was hungry. As soon as my grandfather opened the bag Rexy snatched it from him and started lapping up all of the blood like it was water.

"What the hell?"

"I'll need some blood work to be sure but I think he's some sort of hybrid. Half normal dog and half vampire dog. As impossible as it is I think he's part of the supernatural like us,"

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	9. First Day

**Chapter 9: First Day**

 **Nessie's POV**

Sleep didn't come easily to night. I kept tossing and turning as a million different things went through my head. Mostly I was just worried about school the next day. School always made me anxious because of all the bullying I endured but knowing my own family was going to witness it made even worse.

Rexy did his best to comfort me and it did help. Half dog and half vampire. It was a hard thing to process. Out of all of the service dogs in the world I had to end up with a half vampire dog. When I wasn't thinking about school the next morning I was thinking about Rexy. He had done nothing that would indicate he was half vampire. Surely he would have had the same speed and strength that I had when I was half vampire. Unless he knew how to conceal that side of him.

Thank God Aro has never seen Rexy on any of his surprise visits to check on me. If my grandfather could figure out what he was so quickly that no doubt Aro would've been able to as well. I shuddered just at the very thought of what Aro would do if he ever found out about Rexy.

Half vampire half dog. Rexy was certainly one of a kind. Only, no he wasn't. Because if remembered correctly he came from a litter of seven. Which would mean there were at least six other half vampire half dogs in the world. That's not even counting Rexy's offspring

I sighed and shut my eyes. Trying the best I could to block out all thoughts. When they failed I got out of bed to go and take cold medicine. That always did the trick when I could not sleep. When my alarm blared the following morning I could not contain the rising panic that I felt. I took some medicine to calm myself down and it only helped a little bit.

I ate my breakfast as fast as I could and left before my parents could even notice. I groaned when I saw the cloudy sky outside. I had been silently hoping and praying for another sunny day just to put off the inevitable a little bit longer.

When I arrived at school I looked around and breathed a sigh of relief when I didn't see my family. I started walking across the parking lot when I was suddenly pushed aside. "Get out of my way you freak! I've got more pleasant things to look at!" Stacy's voice sent shivers down my spine.

I took a deep breath before standing up and continuing to make my way into the building. I was at my locker grabbing my books for the morning when a warm hand suddenly grasped my shoulder. I instantly spun around.

"Jake!" I threw my arms around my favorite wolf in the whole world and I didn't care who saw.

"Oh Nessie," he said as he hugged me tightly before letting me go.

"Jacob what are you doing here?"

"I go this school now. We all do. The others are still in the main office getting their schedules printed out,"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling when I took in the sight of my best friend. The sight of Jacob took my breath away. If I was being perfectly honest though I'd have to admit that I was disappointed to see that he was wearing a shirt. The sight of his six pack and all of his muscles was enough to make my heart stop beating. Though even with a shirt on I could still see his muscles clearly outlined underneath as his shirt clung to them.

"anyways Nessie I was hoping you could show me how to get to my classes,"

"Oh yeah. Sure. Just let me see your schedule," I looked at the piece of paper he handed me. I was happy to see that we had several of the same classes together. Starting with first period math. The bell rang before I could tell him though.

"Come on Jake!" I said a little too excitedly. "We have the same class,"

I was so excited about Jacob that I forgot I should be nervous. Forgot that I had bullies to worry about. That reality however came crashing down on me really fast as soon as I got to class. Stacy had stuck her foot out causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. "Freak!" she laughed. "You really should watch where you're going," Joshua and many of the other kids laughed.

Thankfully I had been just a little too fast for Jake and he didn't see that. Stacy and her friends all went silent the moment Jacob caught up and walked into the room. All of the girls were looking at him like he was a piece of meat.

Joshua was the hottest guy in school but in became clear to me that the title had just instantly transferred to Jacob in the minds of every girl in this classroom. Stacy was patting the empty seat next to her and giving him googly eyes. She didn't even seem to care that Joshua was sitting next to her on the other side of her.

Jacob didn't pay her an ounce of attention as he went and sat right next to me instead. Stacy and her friends looked at me in shock, disbelief, and anger. It scared the hell out of me thinking what she could do simply because Jacob chose to sit next to me instead of her.

I looked up again when I heard more footsteps entering the room. It was my aunt Rosalie. Her mere presence alone demanded the attention of every guy in the room. Even by vampire standards aunt Rosalie was beautiful. Most of the guys in my school were horny as hell already so I can only imagine what they'd be thinking when they say my aunt.

I didn't need my uncle's ability to feel emotions or my father's ability to read minds to sense the hostility coming from Stacy. She was then type of girl who always prided herself on being the best looking most beautiful girl around. In her mind no one was allowed to look better than her.

Thirty minutes later as I was working I felt a piece of paper smack into the side of my head. I opened it up and read 'Don't think that just because the new hot guy is sitting next to you that it means anything. He'll know what a freak and loser you are by the end of the day,"

"What is that?" I jumped when Jacob spoke.

"Oh nothing," I crumpled up the paper as fast as I could but before I could throw it in the trash he snatched it out of my hands and read it.

"Who wrote this?" He was barely able to contain his anger and his shaking.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Yes it does I-"

"Jake please don't. I don't even know who it is," that was a lie. I knew it was Jennifer. She was the only one who wrote mean degrading notes to me in class. I just didn't want Jacob to completely lose it.

My aunt looked back at us and when the teacher wasn't looking Jake tossed the note to her. I just looked down at the floor in shame. Jacob rubbed my back soothingly but thankfully dicky say anything.

I was used to people being mean to me. I was used to all the teasing and people throwing things at me I was used to being tripped, kicked, and even stepped on. I was used to the treatment. Today the tormenting wasn't as intense as other days but that didn't mean anything. Especially when my family was here. My dad looked like he wanted to rip someone's head off when he caught a guy throwing pens at me. Mom had to hold him back even though she to looked like she wanted to kill someone.

I was dreading lunch time when I knew I had to talk to my family and that wasn't something I was ready for. After buying my food I walked over to my usual table where my parents, aunts, uncles, and Jacob were already sitting. When I walked by her Leslie stuck her foot out causing me to trip and land face down. I screamed when she spilled her scalding hot soup all over me. Even Rexy yelped in pain when some of it landed on him.

Everyone exploded into uncontrollable laughter while I fought hard not to cry.

 **Happy New Year Everyone!**

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	10. Bullying

**Chapter 10: Bullying**

 **Nessie's POV**

The pain from the scalding soup was almost too much to bare. Everyone just laughed at me though. No one seemed to care about what happened to me. They thought it was funny. My pain was their pleasure.

"Don't you ever touch her again!" mom screamed and effectively causing the whole room to go quiet. Seeing the look on her face scared me. For the first time she actually looked every bit as frightening as a vampire could be. Even Lisa, the bully who was not scared of anyone, actually looked scared for once in her life. Her fear however didn't last long.

"Oh who the hell do you think that you are coming to me and talking to me like that?!" she sneered. If my mom wasn't on Lisa's bad side before she certainly was now.

"Oh I am your worst nightmare sweetheart. If you ever touch Renesmee again I swear I'll-"

"Oh wow I'm so scared. Not," I think Lisa was scared and she was doing the best that she could to hide her fear.

"You don't talk to her like that!" my father who was doing his best to remain calm before was not about to stand by and watch Lisa talk to my mom like that any longer. "Either you back off and leave Renesmee alone or I swear I will personally make you pay,"

"Are you threatening me now?" Lisa's calm façade was starting to fall apart now. As much as she was trying to keep it together I could see that her fear was starting to show. She looked to her friends for backup but they were to frightened to say anything themselves. They had a much better sense of self preservation than their friend did.

I suddenly felt ice cold hands on my body lifting me up. I had not realized that I was still on the ground until aunt Rosalie was suddenly helping me stand up. I could still feel the spots where I had been burned by the soup. The tears welled up in my eyes from the pain. Sensing my distress Rexy pushed his head against my body and I scratched behind his ears. I watched as Lisa's best friend Stacy slip out of the cafeteria unnoticed by most. That was not good.

It was odd to see the whole cafeteria so quiet. Their laughter at me had been deafening and now their silence was eerie.

"Oh are you threatening me now? Because I don't think that you want to go there-"

"Oh I am not threatening you. I am promising you," dad growled. "If you mess with Renesmee again there will be hell to pay. That is a promise. As for the rest of you that laughed at her," dad looked around at all of the quiet students in the cafeteria. "How can you all be so cruel? Although I shouldn't be surprised. I have witnessed how cruel humans can be many times throughout the years,"

Dad was so angry that he didn't even realize he slipped by saying _humans_ instead of _people._

"I can't believe that you are even defending that useless waste of space,"

Jacob was suddenly running toward her. His shaking was so bad that I was sure he was mere seconds away from phasing. Mom and dad grabbed him and held him back to stop his attack.

"Jacob she is not even worth it," mom said as calmly as she could.

"I can't just stand by and watch her treat Nessie like crap. I will not allow it-"

"I know Jacob but she is not worth the trouble,"

I didn't think Jacob was hearing a single word that my mom was saying. Jacob looked like he was out for blood. The tension and anxiety never left my body as the situation continued to escalate. If Jacob wolfed out right then and there then it would be all over. The supernatural would be exposed. Even Rexy looked really tense and on high alert. All of a sudden a wave of calm came out of nowhere. I relaxed, Rexy relaxed, Jacob calmed down, and my parents looked much calmer as well.

Nobody moved until Stacy reappeared...with principal Rosa.

"You four come with me," she said looking at mom, dad, Jacob, and I.

I gulped nervously. This was not going to be good. I had never been called to the principal's office before. I had never gotten in trouble before. I was scared about what was going to happen when I did not even do anything wrong.

"Have a seat," she said after we followed her into her office and closed the door.

"I was told that you all were making threats against another student,"

"She was bullying Renesmee sir. Lisa spilled hot soup all over Renesmee-"

"You all were making threats against another student. Making threats is against school policy. Oh and Renesmee if that dog of yours growls at a student one more time-"

"What?!" I yelled.

"Don't yell at me Renesmee and don't try to lie to me either. Stacy already informed me that this animal of yours growled at her and Lisa,"

"Excuse me," Jacob said angrily. Out of all of us he was the one struggling the most out of all of us to remain calm. "Nessie did not do anything wrong and neither did Rexy. That was a bullshit lie!"

"You watch your tone with me young man or you're going to be in even more trouble than you are already in!"

"Nessie did not do anything wrong," dad added. "Are you interested in listening to the truth or are you just interested in the lies that you have been told"

"So you are telling me that the threats that were made were a lie?" principal Rosa said.

This was not going to go anywhere. I knew that from the moment that we came in here. The principal always protected the bullies. It was all because she was engaged to Lisa's father. That is why she was so hellbent on protecting her and didn't care about the rest of us.

"All I am interested in is the fact that you all were making threats against another student. That and the fact that this dog growled at two students like he was about to attack someone,"

"Look since you Cullens are new here I am willing to be lenient this one time and I will let you off with a warning. As for you Renesmee you have been here long enough to know the rules already. I will suspend you for three days-"

"Three days but-"

"and if that dog of yours growls at one more student I will personally make sure that he not only gets de-certified but destroyed as well,"

After that my parents and Jacob were allowed to go back to class but I had to stay and wait in the principal's office for my adoptive parents to come and pick me up. Thank God my parents were willing to listen to me and believed me when I told them what really happened. Actually they thought that I should go and press charges against Lisa for assault. I had the burn marks to prove it they said.

I just. I didn't know what to do anymore.

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	11. Supsension

**Chapter 11: Suspension**

 **Nessie's POV**

I woke up the sound of Rexy's snoring on the second morning of my suspension. I took a deep breath as I thought back to yesterday's events. Having decided to press charges after all I had spent a good part of the day at the police station. It was emotionally and physically draining to explain to the officer all the problems that I had been having with Lisa culminating in the soup incident.

The burn marks alone were evidence that the police needed to open up an investigation. When I mentioned that even Rexy had been burned when some of the soup landed on him the officer informed me that harming a service dog is another crime that she can be charged with. If the investigation found her guilty she would either go to jail or I could get a restraining order against her. At this point I was not sure what outcome I would want for her. So I added that to the list of charges I wanted to press. I worried about where this was all going to end up though. Lisa comes from a rich family. There was no doubt in my head that her father would fight to have her cleared of all charges.

That was also why principal Rosa's threat about having Rexy de-certified and euthanized scared the crap out of me. If she passed on the lie that Rexy growled viciously at students, especially Lisa, Lisa's father would move whatever influences he had around to have my dog destroyed. I sighed. My stress levels were going through the roof and my anxiety was starting to get the best of me. I looked over at the sleeping German shepherd on my bed. If he was even remotely worried about what could happen to him he definitely did not show any signs of it. Then again I wondered though if he was half vampire like grandpa Carlisle said would euthanasia even work on him in the first place? Could a half vampire dog-half regular dog be as easily killed as any normal dog would? I didn't know the answer to that question and I did not want to find out.

I was thinking about what I was going to do to keep myself busy today when I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I nearly tripped and fell flat on my face as I ran down the flight of stairs. I was shocked when I opened the door and there stood...

"Jake!" I shouted a little too loudly when I saw my best friend standing in the doorway. I was even more surprised when he suddenly embraced me in those warm muscly arms of his. "Jacob what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I had to come see you Ness. I had to come check up on you,"

"How did you even know where I lived?"

"Your scent is pretty easy to track Nessie. Besides Bella told me where you live,"

"So why are you here instead of in school?" I questioned.

"I told you Nessie. I had to come see you and check up on you. I was worried about you,"

"That is really sweet of you Jake but-"

"I would rather be here with you than in school listening to those infuriating girls. So I decided to play hooky and spend the day with you instead. Unless you don't want me around. In which case I would understand. I'll just leave and-"

"Oh Jacob be quiet will you? Like I would ever say no to hanging out with my best friend all day,"

My heart was pounding fast. I didn't understand why but Jacob just had this affect on me now that he didn't have on me when I was little. For some strange reason I blushed a bright crimson red when I realized that I was still in my pajamas. My God why I was I so embarrassed by him seeing me in my pajamas?

"Well come on in Jake don't just stand there. I still have to get dressed and eat breakfast. Do you want anything? We have eggs, cereal-

"I have a much better idea," he said. "Why don't you allow me to take you out to breakfast?"

I was speechless. I could not, for the life of me, come up with the words to say. I didn't know if it was because he wanted to take me out somewhere to eat or if it was because he was not wearing a shirt again. I swear I just wanted to reach out and touch his abs. I wanted to feel his muscles. I wanted to feel how hard his muscles were. I wanted to caress his face, his very very beautiful face.

"Well is that a yes or a no?"

I blushed again from sheer embarrassment at having my mind wonder off like that. Jesus I was so happy that my father was not here to read my mind right now. If he saw what I was thinking when it came to Jacob he'd probably lose his mind. Speaking of which where did my family think Jacob was right now?

"Yes. By the way where does everyone else think you're at,"

"Only your mom knows that I am here. It was sort of a last minute decision to ditch and come be with you. She was very supportive of the idea but she didn't want your father finding out just yet,"

"Okay, well I am going to go get ready now,"

I dashed up the stairs as fast as I could. Rexy was now laying there wide awake on my bed.

"Get ready boy. We are going out,"

Just like that he jumped off of the bed and was heading down the stairs to go do his business outside. Putting on decent clothes, makeup, fixing my hair, brushing my teeth, and feeding Rexy took a grand total of thirty minutes to do. I did everything as fast as I could mainly because I didn't want to keep Jake waiting any longer than what was necessary.

"Okay I'm ready," I announced nervously.

Jacob looked me from head to toe and said "you're really beautiful," and even though I was just wearing a pair of jeans and t shirt I could feel in my heart that he really meant it.

"Thanks Jake,"

"I mean that Nessie,"

"I know," I said. "So are you. Oh and by the way shirts are required at most establishments," I blushed again.

He laughed. "You know you're even more beautiful when you blush like that,"

Now I was blushing so much that I was certain I must look absolutely adorable right now. Damn it! Why did he have this affect on me now! He knew me since the day I was born he should not be having an affect on me like this!

"So where do you want to go eat?" he asked me.

"Well there is an iHop nearby if you want to have some pancakes?"

"Oh that sounds delicious, let's go,"

As we arrived at the restaurant and walked inside I could feel all the people staring at me. I could feel them all staring at me and Rexy. Every time we went anywhere it was like his vest was a bright neon sign saying SERVICE DOG in all capital letters. For some reason though today was different. Today the stares did not bother me as much as they usually did. With Jake around everything just felt so different.

"Jesus why does everyone feel the need to stare?" the annoyance was clear in Jacob's voice as we sat down at our table.

"Because he attracts that kind of attention that's why," I looked down at Rexy who was laying comfortably underneath the table, out of people's way.

"Well they shouldn't. Didn't anyone teach them that staring was rude?"

"All social rules go out the door whenever I am around. I try not to let it bother me but-"

"But it still bothers you anyway," Jacob finished for me.

"Yes it does and I know I should not let it bother me but sometimes I can't help it. I just wanted to be treated as if I were a normal person. You know?"

"You **_are_** a normal person Nessie. Don't you ever forget that Nessie,"

I wanted to argue back that I was not a normal person. Normal people don't have to go through the crap that I have gone through. Normal people don't accidentally push their sisters into the pool causing them to drown. Normal people do not have to constantly worry about the Volturi. I have PTSD, depression, severe anxiety, and cancer for godsakes! Hell I tried to kill myself before! Normal people don't have to take the amount of medication for mental illnesses that I do! I was about as far from normal as someone could get. I didn't say anything though because I didn't want Jacob to know what the extent of my issues was.

"Nessie you should not allow yourself to believe that you are anything but normal. You've been dealt a rotten hand in life but you are-"

"Please don't say it again Jacob,"

"But-"

"Just don't. Can we please talk about something else? I just want to forget about everything for awhile. Is that okay?"

As soon as the subject was changed I felt my mood brighten up. Talking about anything and everything from favorite movies all the way down to politics. After breakfast we went to the movies. Then after the movies we went to the beach. The beach was lonely since mostly everyone was at school or work. I liked it that way. Just Jacob and I.

I was reminded of when I was little and Jacob would take me down to La Push beach. He used to take me down there all the time when I was little. I remembered he would phase after picking me up. As a wolf he would let me ride on his back as he ran all the way down to the beach. We would stay at the beach all the day swimming and building sand castles. Then afterword we usually went to Emily's house because she would always have food for us and the rest of the wolves. Jacob would take me to all the bonfires and I would listen to Billy tell all the stories about the tribe's history. I had a lot of childhood memories and some of my most memorable ones are with Jacob back on the reservation.

I was such a happy, innocent, carefree child. I had my family and I had Jacob. What wouldn't I give to be able to trade in my mental health issues for that life that I once had? Today I had my first appointment with my new psychiatrist. The vampire psychiatrist that my grandfather had so highly recommended for me. If I was being perfectly honest with myself though I did not think it would help.

I was beyond saving.

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	12. Vampire Psychiatrist

**Chapter 12: Vampire Psychiatrist**

 **Nessie's POV**

Warm hands stroked me gently. I was completely engulfed in the warmth. I could hear the sound of the ocean in the distance. The warmth made feel safe and protected. I smiled.

The sound of a chucking voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Finally waking up Nessie?"

My eyes snapped wide open and I blushed with extreme embarrassment. The most embarrassment that I had ever felt in my entire life. I was in Jacob's arms. I fell asleep in Jacob's arms!

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Did you?" he laughed. "I've been listening to you snoring for the past 45 minutes,"

"Oh my God," I would be perfectly happy if a hole were to suddenly open up and swallow me whole right now.

"Don't worry. It was not that bad. It was actually kind of cute. Also, I love having you in my arms,"

"What? You mean I fell asleep in your arms?"

"How did you think you ended up in my arms in the first place?"

I could not believe that i had fallen asleep in Jacob's arms. I also could not understand why I was reacting this way. Jacob was my best friend when I was a kid. I was never embarrassed when I was around him before. Why was I suddenly so easily embarrassed in front of him now?

"Oh Jacob I'm so sorry. I must be so boring falling asleep like that. I-"

"Nessie you are not boring. You are far from boring. I've loved every minute of being with you today. Including the minutes that you were asleep,"

I blushed again. The truth was though that I've also loved every moment with him. I loved being with him and I will shamefully admit that I've loved looking at him. As a kid I never really paid attention to all of his muscles or his six pack. Or the fact that he never wore a shirt. Now that I was 12 years older I definitely took notice of all of those things. Especially because Jacob didn't appeared to have aged a single day. Like my parents he looked like he was forever stuck in a teenager's body.

"What are you thinking about Nessie?"

"Do you age?"

"That's what you're thinking about?"

"Yeah I'm curious. Why do you still look the same as you did 12 years ago? You're not a vampire,"

"Wolf thing," he said. "We do not age as look at we continue to phase on a regular basis. Most usually quit when they want to get married and start families. So they can grow old together,"

"You haven't met anyone special then?"

He suddenly looked uncomfortable with the change of subject. It was a minute before he said anything.

"There is only one girl for me. I just hope I am right for her,"

"I'm sure you are Jacob. Whoever she is I am sure that you are right for her,"

I could have stayed there all day. Happy. Completely at peace with my Jacob. If it weren't for the fact that I looked at my watch and nearly had a heart attack when I saw time it was.

"Holy shit!"

"What?!" Jacob shouted, alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"I am going to be late. So late. My appointment is in 30 minutes. I have to get home and-"

"Nessie don't worry. I will take you to your appointment,"

"You will?"

"Yes. Don't worry. I'll get you there in time. Then maybe you will allow me to take you to dinner afterwards?"

Dinner with Jacob? Well I sure as hell was not about to turn down spending more time with Jacob. Just as he promised he had me there in time. Actually he got me there five minutes early. When I was called in I looked back at Jacob sitting there in the waiting room one more time before going.

I was nervous as I sat down in the office waiting for my new doctor. Rexy's presence was the only thing keeping me calm. I practiced my breathing exercises to keep my anxiety under control.

I jumped when the door suddenly opened. She was breathtakingly beautiful of course. Like all vampires were. Her golden eyes indicating that she was a vegetarian vampire like my family. Her black hair is what stood out the most

"You must be Renesmee. Carlisle's granddaughter?"

"Yes," I gulped nervously.

"Well it is certainly nice to meet you Renesmee," she shook my hand. Her ice cold touch didn't phase me. " I'm doctor Lyla Brown,"

"Please call me Nessie,"

"Okay Nessie. So I've been studying your case. Severe depression, severe anxiety, and PTSD. You also tried to commit suicide a few years ago by overdosing on medication. Is that all correct?"

"That is correct,"

"You witnessed your fall into your pool and die?"

"Yes," I knew my voice was shaky now but I couldn't help it.

"Nessie," she paused. "I need you to do me a favor, okay? I need you to look me directly in the eye? I need you to make eye contact with me. Understand?"

I did as she instructed me to do even though I did not understand what the point of this exercise was.

"Okay now it all makes sense," she said when we broke eye contact a few seconds later.

"What makes sense?" I asked. "I do not understand,"

"It is true what Carlisle said. The Volturi threatened you that if you ever revealed the truth about vampires or went back to your family that you would all be killed. Aro has 'checked in' on you many times before and you're always afraid that he will just simply choose to kill you no matter what,"

"Yes that is true," that was what she already knew from my grandfather I assumed.

"There is more though. Like the fact that Jane enjoys using her gift to sadistically torture you every time she sees you-"

"What how do-"

"Or that your sister didn't just fall into the pool. You accidentally pushed her in during a game of tag. But you're afraid to tell anybody because you're afraid of how they will react. You're afraid of how your adoptive parents would react if you ever told them. You feel that your cancer is punishment for what happened. You feel like you're worthless and undeserving of love,"

"How did you-"

"I'm gifted Nessie. I can see a person's deepest, darkest secrets just from a few seconds of eye contact. Usually I have to get my patients to admit their secrets to me but with you we can skip right over that step since you already know about vampires,"

"So what now?"

"I'm here to help you Nessie. I want to help you. You're not worthless and absolutely no one is beyond saving,"

"I might be the exception,"

"There are no exceptions Nessie. You can be helped. You've been through stuff that no one should ever have to go through. The depression stems from losing your family and your little sister. Your anxiety and PTSD are the result of what the Volturi has done to you as well as watching your sister die,"

"I-I don't know what to do," I cried.

Suddenly she was comforting me. "It's okay Nessie. It's okay,"

"I'm sorry,"

"What are you sorry for" she asked curiously.

"For crying," I hiccupped.

"Don't be," she said. "Never be sorry for crying. Crying is good for you. It helps. Sometimes I wish I could still cry,"

"I really don't know what to do,"

"You can talk. I will listen. I will give you advice on what I think you should do,"

"What should I do?"

"You should tell your adoptive parents the truth about what happened the day your sister died,"

I felt my face pale instantly.

"I-I can't do that! They'll hate me! They'll think I'm a monster! They'll-"

"Nessie relax. It's okay-"

"No it isn't. It's-"

"Keeping this secret has been causing you a lot of harm over the years. If you tell your family the truth only then will you be able to start healing from that trauma. They won't hate you Nessie. They might he disappointed at first that you didn't tell them right away but they would still love you just the same,"

"I don't know if I can,"

"Whenever you're ready I can have them come here. You can do it here with me if you'd like. You don't have to do it alone,"

"I don't?"

"You don't have to do anything alone Nessie. You have two families that love you. How many people can say that?

"The Volturi-"

"Have hurt you in many ways a person should never be hurt. Never forget though that recovering from trauma, no matter how severe, is never impossible. Nor can it be done alone,"

I was still convinced that I was the one exception to everything she was saying. Not that it mattered anyway. My cancer would make sure that I was dead in no time. Honestly it was such a waste of time to put so much energy into me when there was people who were far more deserving of her help than me. I liked her though. I really did. She seemed nice and like she genuinely cared about me.

"I can't believe you got all that just from making eye contact with me,"

"I can undo a person in seconds with my gift. Although sometimes it is a curse. Some people's secrets are so grotesque that I wish I could forget," she said. "Anyway we are just about done here. But before you go I'm going to recommend that you increase your medicine dose. Also I want to see you every week. I'll have my assistant call you and set that up for you,"

"Every week? But I didn't see my other doctor every week,"

"Well I am not your other doctor. I'm your current psychiatrist and i believe that you would benefit more from weekly sessions,"

I was surprised when I walked out and saw Jacob waiting for me looking very distraught. Oh no. Oh no. I hoped to God that being a shapeshifter didn't give him super hearing and he overheard everything that was said in there.

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	13. Emotional Day

**Chapter 13: Emotional Day**

 **Nessie's POV**

If Jacob overheard the conversation that I had with my psychiatrist he didn't bring it up. That is what was killing me. I wanted to know if he heard anything but at the same time I was afraid to find out. What would Jacob think of me if he knew that I had tried to kill myself? What would he think if he knew I was the reason that my sister was dead? Would he think that I was a monster? Would he think that I was mentally weak?

I wanted to know but at the same time I did not want to know. So I didn't ask. When Jacob put his arm around me I immediately relaxed. "It's okay Nessie. It's okay,"

I didn't know what to make of his words. I craved his presence in a way that I did not understand. It wasn't a new feeling. When I was little I always craved Jacob's presence. I never understood why I just knew that I did. 12 years later and those feelings had not lessened a bit. In fact, they had only gotten stronger. With Jacob I also felt very safe and secure. All of the reasons coupled together were the reason why I hadn't no said no to eating dinner with Jake.

"Jacob are you going to at least let me pay for dinner this time?"

He gave me a look like I was crazy or something.

"Come on Jake you've already paid for breakfast and lunch. The very least that you can do is let me pay for dinner,"

"and why would I let you spend your money on me?"

"Because I want to," I argued back. "There is nothing wrong with letting a woman pay for dinner. It is the 21st century after all,"

"So does that mean gentlemen are no longer allowed to exist?"

I sighed giving up. I was not going to win this arguement no matter how much I tried. "Fine. You win this time. But next time I'm paying,"

"So you're saying there is going to be a next time? You're going to want to go out with me again?"

"I, well, why not?" I nearly choked on my food.

"Good. That is all that I needed to hear. That there will be a next time. I enjoy being with you Nessie. I want to have a lot more days like today with you,"

I did not know what to say. In all honesty though I felt the same way. It was just a little weird though since we knew each other since I was just a baby. Physically we were the same age now and being with Jacob just felt right. No matter what it felt right and I didn't want to be apart from him again.

What was I thinking? A guy like him deserved someone so much better than me. He deserved a girl that didn't have so many problems physically and mentally. Especially mentally.

Jacob took me home straight after dinner.

"Nessie where have you been all day?" Dad asked almost as soon as I walked through the door.

"I was out with a friend,"

"It was a guy wasn't it? Do I know him? What is his name?"

"Dad his name is Jacob and no you don't know him. He's new in town,"

"Well good," dad said, completely shocking me. "I'm glad you're going out and socializing. I just wish that you would've told your mother or I what you were doing. Or that you would've answered your phone,"

"Sorry dad," I said. "Besides that today was the first day with my new doctor,"

"Oh that's right. How did that go?"

"It went okay, I guess. Hey where is mom?" I asked hoping to change the subject.

"Oh your mom had to go out of town suddenly for business. So it's just going to be us for a few days,"

"Oh. Well I'm going to go take a shower and change,"

Once I was completely alone I started thinking about everything the psychiatrist had said. How I should tell my parents the truth about what really happened the day my sister died. I couldn't do that though. I didn't have the strength to do that.

After showering I went to my room and started reading a book with Rexy curled up right next to me. I jumped when my dad knocked on the door.

"Hey kiddo i thought maybe we could watch a movie together. Just you and i,"

"Really dad? That would be great!"

This was exactly the kind of distraction that I needed and I loved hanging out with my father. We picked Jurassic Park. An all time favorite of mine. That's why I had named my service dog Rexy. The movie was exactly what I needed right now. I could forget about my bullies, what my psychiatrist had said, all of my problems.

The day had started well and it ended well. I went to sleep happy that night. I had a great day with Jacob and a great evening with my father. It had been one hell of an emotional day.

I awoke suddenly a few hours later when I heard something strange downstairs. I got out of bed to go investigate and Rexy followed me. I didn't realize that anything was wrong until I was suddenly grabbed from behind. I screamed when I saw the broken window and realized what was happening.

"Shut up you stupid girl! Shut up and you won't get hurt,"

I had never felt so scared in my life. Four men were ransacking the house and I was terrified of what they were going to do with me.

"Let her go!" I looked up to see my dad running down the stairs.

"Let her go!" he screamed again. He went straight for the guy that was holding ms and hit him as hard as he could. Effectively causing the man to release me.

"Don't you ever touch my daughter again do you hear me?! You can take whatever the hell you want but if you ever touch my daughter again-"

Another guy punched my father so hard that he fell to the ground. I ran as fast as I could to get my cellphone and call 911 but my battery was dead. I had no idea where my father's phone was either. The next best plan I had was to the run to the neighbor's house and use their phone to call 911.

As I was running down the stairs I saw a sight that made my blood run cold. My dad was trying to fight off three men while the fourth man grabbed a knife from the knife block.

"Dad!" I screamed but it was no use. It was to late. All I could do was watch in horror as my father was stabbed multiple times.

"Come on guys we have to run! This was just supposed to be a simple robbery!"

"Dad!" I screamed again.

I heard sirens approaching the house fast. I didn't understand why since I hadn't gotten the chance to call 911. Then I realized what happened. Aunt Alice. She must've seen this happening and called.

My father was losing a lot of blood though. I was going to lose my father. I cried.

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	14. Life and Death

**Chapter 14: Life and Death**

 **Nessie's POV**

"Dad! Dad! Dad!" I cried over and over again. The tears streaming down my face so much that I could hardly see. I held onto my father. I didn't care that blood was getting all over me. None of that mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.

The police and paramedics busted the door wide open. I couldn't let go of my father. I would not listen when they told me to release my father. I had to be pried away from him. I was inconsolable as the police led me away from the crime scene. Keeping it together long enough to tell them what happened proved to be an impossible task. Not even Rexy could keep my anxiety at bay.

First my sister and now my father. I couldn't do this again. Watch someone I love deeply die. I could not do it. I just could not handle it.

"Renesmee I understand this is very upsetting but it is important that you tell us what happened. In as much detail as you possibly can. That way we can catch the people who did this," the kindly officer said.

I took a deep breath but nothing worked. I wanted to help the police but I just couldn't. Mentally I could not handle anymore. I just wanted to get to the hospital and be with my father. He had to be Omaha. He just had to be okay.

The officer sighed. "Kid is there anyone we should call?"

I suddenly remembered my mother who was away on business. She had no idea what was going on!

"My mom. She is away on business. I don't know if I can do it though," I sniffled. "I can't-" I stopped as another son wracked my chest. I couldn't talk anymore.

"It is okay Renesmee. I will give her a call. I'll get you to the hospital so that you can be with your dad,"

I could not talk anymore because of the tears so I just nodded my head. Why did I have to have all the rotten luck in the world? What are the chances that i witness the death of two of my family members? Seeing my father stabbed like that was not an image I would ever be able to erase from my brain. Just like the image of my sister dying. Only this was different. This was attempted murder, just plain murder if my father did not make it.

I barely even noticed when I got into the police car and I was driven to the hospital. I barely even noticed when we arrived at the hospital. All I could think about was my father being brutally stabbed. All I could think about was how fleeting life was and how certain death was. All I could hope for was that my father would somehow pull through.

I was taken to a waiting area once we arrived. There was no news yet about my father. So I just sat, waited, and prayed that he would live. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a doctor appeared.

"Renesmee?"

"That's-that's me," I gulped nervously and tearfully.

The doctor looked at me sadly and I instantly knew. I just knew the truth before he even said it.

"We did everything we could to save your father but it was too late. There was to much blood loss and there was nothing we could do,"

I fell to my knees and cried. I was overwhelmed by grief. My dad was dead. My dad was brutally murdered. I would never see him again. I could not even begin to imagine what my life would be like without him. He was my father. The man who raised me and loved me despite all of my problems. I loved him just as much as I loved my vampire father. Just like I loved my mom as much as I loved my human mom.

My human mom arrived just a few hours later. It was early morning when she arrived. She had took the next flight home as soon as she received the phone call from the police. Seeing the devastation on her face when she received the news of my father's death was gut wrenching. The only time I remembered seeing her in that much pain was when I attempted suicide.

We hugged and cried for I didn't even know how long. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and even years and I would not have noticed. The only thing that I was absolutely certain of was my father's death. I didn't want to believe he was dead but he was.

The police interviewed me again while I was there. This time I was determined to stay calm enough to tell them things exactly as they happened. I wanted to describe my father's killers in as much detail as I possibly could. I wanted to catch my father's murders so they would pay for what they did.

We went home soon after. Neither mom or I said anything the whole way home. I knew that if I said anything I would cry again. Mom looked defeated. I knew it wouldn't be long before we were both in tears again.

As soon as we went home I went straight up to my room and started crying again. The reality of the situation was to much for me to handle. Rexy curled up in my bed right next to me. His whimpering and the distraught look on his face told me that he was grieving as well. We all were. I couldn't stand the idea that I was never going to see my father again.

My phone rang a few hours later. I was not going to answer it until I saw that it was my vampire mother.

"Hello,"

"Nessie. Baby I heard what happened. I'm so sorry,"

"He's dead," was the only thing I could say.

"Carlisle and the other doctors did everything they could to save him," she said. "There was no way he could survive. Not as a human anyway,"

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	15. Shock

**Chapter 15: Shock**

 **Nessie's POV**

For the first time in my life I could feel myself actually slipping into a state of shock. It felt as if my whole body was quickly going numb. Including my brain. The phone slipped from my fingers and landed on the floor with a loud thud.

Even though my body was frozen my mind was racing. I could not believe it. I was afraid to believe it and then be proven wrong later on. If I believed it to be true and I turned out to be wrong later on I would not be able to handle it. Mentally I just wouldn't be able to cope with it.

But my mother would not say something like that. She would not say "there was no way he could survive. At least not as a human anyway," unless my grandfather had changed him just in the nick of time.

I had to go see it for myself though. I would not believe anything until I saw it with my own eyes. I was about to pick up my phone and leave when I heard a loud wail from my mother's room. I instantly ran to her room to see what was the matter.

I threw the door open to her room and found her crying even harder than before. Her phone in her hand. I was at her side in a second.

"Mom what's wrong? What happened?" I felt stupid asking. I was ready for her to scream at me that it was all due to my father's death. So I was surprised by her next answer.

"I just got a phone call from the police. Apparently your father's body is missing!" she wailed.

"What?! How?!" Now there was no more doubt in my head. Grandpa Carlisle had taken him from the hospital and changed. My dad would be fine but there was no way I could tell my grieving mother that.

"Nobody knows. His body had been taken to the morgue but when they went back it was gone. The security cameras malfunctioned so we have no idea what happened. The police and the hospital are going to do a major investigation but-" mom started crying again.

"Mom it's okay. It is going to be okay-"

"No it's not!" she cried. "Don't you see?! Without his body we can't even have a proper burial for him!"

For the first time in my life I was seconds away from spilling the beans on the supernatural world. Seconds away from telling mg mom about my biological family and about vampires in general. All so I could stop my mother's pain and help her understand why my father's body missing from the morgue was actually a good thing. It was on the tip of my tongue already when I stopped myself.

If I told my mom the truth we would all die. The Volturi would kill her, me, my whole family. It was important that I maintained the secret. Even though maintaining the secret had never been so hard and painful.

"I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. He gets killed and now we don't even have a body to grieve over!"

I stayed with my mom that day. Seeing my family and my father mid-transformation could wait until tomorrow. Right now my mom needed me to be here with her. This was all so physically, mentally, and emotionally draining.

I kept replaying the night's events in my head. Even though I knew my father would be alright in the end seeing him stabbed nearly to death like that would not ever erase itself from my brain. Seeing him bleed out like that. Hearing that my father was dead. It was something that would stay with me for the rest of my life. Even though my dad was alive. Well sorta.

I went to sleep early that night. I didn't wake up until I heard my mom talking on the phone with the police. Rexy and I took advantage of her being distracted to sneak out. I could not wait any longer. I had to go see my father. Even if he was still just writhing around in pain.

I ran as fast as I could to the nearest bus stop. Twenty minutes later I was walking up the walkway toward my family's house. My mom opened the door before I even reached the doorstep.

"We heard you coming," mom hugged me tightly.

Suddenly I heard someone screaming upstairs.

"Is that my dad?"

"The human to vampire transformation is the most painful thing a person could ever experience in their life. It's the one of the most potent memories we have of our human lives. Sweetie why don't you come inside so we can talk some more,"

When I got inside I saw my whole family gathered around waiting. Soon though I found myself in the comforting embrace of my grandparents, my father, my aunts, my uncles, and of course my Jacob. Even though my father wowould survive as a vampire they understood the emotional turmoil I had been living for the past 24 hours.

"Nessie we tried to save him. I did everything I could to save him. So did the other doctors. There was nothing that could be done,"

"I understand that grandpa. I know you tried,"

"This was the only way. When he was declared dead his heart was still beating. Although very faintly. Not even machines could have picked it up anymore. So I bit him and brought him here for the transformation,"

"But how did you-" another scream came from upstairs.

"How did I do that without getting caught? With Alice's help. She saw what was going to happen and came to the hospital early enough to disable the security cameras without anyone noticing," aunt Alice beamed proudly as my grandfather had explained what she done.

"But there is an investigation going on nlw because his body is not in the morgue,"

"We understand that Nessie. We will figure out a way to deal with the investigation. The only thing that matters now is that your father will be okay. He will have to remain hidden until we figure out what to do. Even if we have to move and take you with us,"

"I can't do that to my mother," my vampire mother gave me a sad look when I mentioned my human mother. "She has already lost a daughter and a husband. She can't lose me too,"

"We will figure something out. That is not our most pressing worry though,"

"What is?"

"I had a vision," aunt Alice answered. "About your father. He is going to be gifted. Possibly the most gifted vampire in history,"

"How so?" I asked, confused.

"He will have the power to steal other vampire's gifts and either use them for himself or transfer them to another,"

I shuddered at the thought of that kind of power. I still didn't understand why that had mh famy so worried.

"The problem is what would happen if the Volturi ever found out about him," my dad said reading my mind.

I couldn't take anymore and I suddenly fainted on the spot.

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	16. Decisions

**Chapter 16: Decisions**

 **Nessie's POV**

I felt as if the weight of the world were on my shoulders as I walked through town. I had spent a few hours with my family discussing what was going to happen after my father's transformation. I had been walking through town for the past hour and a half already but I wasn't getting tired. I had so much going on in my head that I wanted to clear.

In all of my years I have successfully managed to keep my human life and vampire life completely seperate. It was not exactly a difficult thing to do. Sabrina had used her magic to make me all human so that I could live as a human with a human family.

Apart from the visits from Aro I never saw other vampires ever again. Except in my memories. There was never a day that went by where I didn't think about my biological family. I never stopped missing them or longing to see them.

I never in my life imagined that I would see them again. Everything was much simpler before. Now everything was way more complicated. The two worlds that I had successfully kept apart for many years were now colliding into each other like two bullet trains on the same track coming in opposite directions.

With my dad becoming a vampire and my mom not knowing the truth was a lot to deal with. Especially my family expected me to go with them if they had to leave. With my dad becoming a vampire I knew that my family leaving was inevitable now. It wouldn't be safe to stay here while everyone thought he was dead.

I didn't want to leave my mother behind though. I couldn't leave her behind. The propblem was that my family expected me to go with them. As my mother and father so eloquently put it "we already lost you once. We will not lose you again,". One thing was certain they were not going to let me go willingly. How could I blame them? They were my birth parents. I was their daughter. A daughter they believed to be dead for many years.

We didn't say much on the topic after that. It was a huge elephant in the room that none of us really wanted to adress. I had never felt so torn before. I didn't want to leave my adoptive mother. How could I just leave her after everything that has happened? On the other hand how could I refuse to be with my biological family when they wanted me so badly? I didn't like having to make these kinds of decisions.

I sighed in distress. Rexy pushed his head against my body for comfort.

"I don't know what to do boy. I wish you could talk and give me the answer. I know you're smart enough to understand me being part vampire and all. I just wish you could tell me your thoughts,"

He nudged me in encouragement. I was in absolutely no hurry to go home. I couldn't stand the depressing atmosphere that surrounded my house right now. Fresh air away from everyone is exactly what I needed.

So instead of heading for a bus stop I just head further into town. I was starting to get a headache from everything so I stopped at a store to purchase a water bottle and some Advil. I sat down at a bench and swallowed two of the little pills.

I tried to think about literally anything other than my dad, the Volturi, and this whole fucked up situation I have found myself in. My thoughts instead immediately turned to Jacob. The way my insides just melted when he looked at me. The way my heart tripled in speed when he touched me.

Jacob had been there comforting me almost the entire day. I remembered the way my dad looked like he was going to explode when he saw Jacob put his arm around me. Although I wasn't entirely sure if he was about to kill Jacob or me. I may have been thinking some less than pure thoughts around Jacob.

I shook my head as I got up from the bench and started walking again. I had known Jacob all of my life. Literally since the day I was born. I am ninenty nine percent sure that he changed my diaper at least once. So why did I feel all these things around him? Why did I want him in a sexual way?

No matter what though I couldn't tell Jacob any of this. He would probably think I am crazy. I mean I would think I am crazy. Some crazy girl out to date much older men.

Suddenly I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I started coughing like crazy. I am startled when I see red on my hand. Drops of blood. I have no idea why as I don't have any lung problems. Unless...no the thought is to horrific to even think. I have bone cancer. Now I'm not stupid. I know that cancer can spread to other parts of the body. But I couldn't really have that kind of rotten luck now could I?

I made my way over to a doughnut shop and purchased two glazed dougnuts and milk. I had just taken the first bite of doughnut when it happened again. I started coughing again and once again there was no mistaking the blood. There was blood on the napkin.

I debated whether I should tell my grandfather or not. I decided against it as I didn't want to cause anymore worry. My family were already worried enough about me as it was. They also had a lot of other things on their plate as it was. I didn't need to add more to it.

"Hey!" I jumped when I heard the unmistakable voice of Lisa's scream.

I looked up at her and immediately wished that I hadn't. If looks could kill then I would've died a few times over.

"You little bitch," she sneered.

I got up and walked away. I was not in the mood to deal with her shit today. It was bad enough I had to deal with in school. I was not about to deal with it now.

I made it all the way to the crosswalk. I was surprised when I saw my mom, Bella that is, along with my aunts on the other side of the street. Aunt Alice probably forced them to go on a shopping trip or something.

Suddenly I was yanked backwards and thrown onto the concrete floor. I scrramed.

"You stupid bitch! You have got the police investigating me!"

It took me a minute to remember what she was talking about. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I had pressed assualt charges against her.

"Yeah well you did assault me! You deserve it after all you've done to me!"

"Shut up!"

People were starting to gather around now.

"Why? You don't like that I'm telling the truth? I've put up with your shit long enough and now I am done!"

As I turned to leave she suddenly grabbed me and threw me right into the street. I was aware of only two things. My mom and aunts frozen on the other side. The screeching tires of the truck as the driver desperately tried to avoid hitting me. I knew it was too late though. The driver didn't have enough time to react. I braced for impact and hoped it would be over quickly.

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	17. Hospital

**Chapter 17: Hospital**

 **Nessie's POV**

Suddenly I was hit but from my side and not the front as I had expected. My head hit the floor and felt my head crack open. I was barely aware of the blood trickling down my face. I was nearly blinded from the pain. I heard a loud yelping sound which made me look up despite the pain. What I saw filled me with dread. Rexy was underneath one of the truck's tires. He was still. Too still. There was a large dent in the trunk presumably where Rexy had been hit. A dent no normal dog would have ever been able to make.

That is when I finally realized what happened. Rexy had saved me. My service dog had taken it upon himself to push me out of the way and get hit instead. I hated seeing him so still. It scared me.

There was a flurry of activity after that. The pain made it difficult to keep track of what was going on. I was getting dizzier and the pain was getting worse by the second. People had gathered around and started calling 911. Lisa tried to make a run for it but was quickly caught by two men. She was kicking and screaming but it was clear that they were not going to let her get away from the scene.

Ice cold hands were suddenly touching my face. "Nessie! Baby! Oh my God-" my mother was crying frantically as she desperately tried to help me stay awake.

"I have already called Carlisle he will be ready for her at the hospital," I heard aunt Alice say.

"Nessie please say something. You're really scaring us," this time it was aunt Rosalie that spoke. I wanted to say something to ease their minds but I felt like if I opened my mouth I would throw up.

I felt nauseous, pain, and dizziness all at once. Seeing my beloved German Shepherd so lifeless looking underneath that truck was also scaring the hell out of me. If anything happened to him I didn't know what I would do. Oh God please let him be okay. Let him be okay.

Sirens blared in the distance but I did not dare to look up. I did not dare to even move a muscle. I knew that they were getting closer when the sirens got louder.

"What happened?" I could hear someone asking as I was lifted up and put on a stretcher.

"I'm not sure what happened. One second there was no one in the street and the next she was there. I don't know how she got there. I tried to avoid hitting her-"

"She was pushed," I heard someone say.

"By that girl over there,"

"It was an accident! I swear!" I heard Lisa scream. "It was just an accident! I didn't mean for it to happen!"

I didn't hear what happened after that because I was taken away by the ambulance. The paramedics started treating my wound and doing what they could to help me as we rode to the hospital. I must have lost conciousness at one point because one minute I am riding in the ambulance and the next I am waking up in the hospital.

I was a bit disoriented at first because I couldn't remember what happened and then suddenly it all came back to me. I looked around until my eyes landed on my adoptive mother. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying.

"Nessie oh thank God you're awake!" she cried. "I was so afraid that I would lose too!"

I didn't even want to imagine the mess my mother would be right now if I had died. Me being murdered days after my father being murdered would be a surefire way to devestate her. Just like me leaving would devestate her.

"I am so sorry mom,"

"It's okay baby. It is not your fault,"

"How long was I unconcious?"

"12 hours. Your head was badly injured but Dr. Cullen says that your head should heal without any complications,"

"What's going to happen now with Lisa?"

"The police have interviewed over a dozen witnesses. They all say that she deliberately pushed you into the street. Lisa is denying and saying it was all an accident. The police are trying to get security footage of the incident,"

"Wait what about Rexy? Where is he?" I asked the second I remembered seeing my lifess dog under the truck.

Mom sighed but remained silent.

"Mom please tell me what happened,"

"He was rushed to the animal hospital after you were taken away by the paramedics. They just called me. They're going to additionall testing on him,"

"Testing? Why? He was hit while saving me. Why would he need testing,"

"Maybe I shouldn't say anything. You shouldn't be worrying so much right now,"

"Mom I am going to worry more if you don't say anything. What is wrong with my dog?"

"Well," she began. "When he arrived at the hospital the veterinarian said that all of his injuries were somehow healed already. His bones hadn't fused together so he had to re break and cast them. However when the veterinarian checked on him again he appeared fine. So he did another X-Ray and all of his fractures had healed again. This time correctly. Not just that but the wounds he had sustained healed overnight. It's not normal for a dog to heal so fast so they want to do some testing on him. That way they can find out what's going on with him,"

I felt the blood drain from my face when I realized what was going on with him. It was his half vampire genes that were making him heal so fast. If they did testing who knows what kind of freaky stuff they would find!

"We have to get him out of there now!" I was about to get out of bed when mom pushed me down.

"Nessie you need to rest and Rexy will be fine I'm sure,"

Yeah him being 'fine' was not my biggest comcern right now.

"Anyway now that I know you're awake I am going to go get some breakfast. . I will be back soon,"

It was good that my mom left when she did because soon after I got a really bad cough attack. Like yesterday there were a few specks of blood. Unliile yesterday the coughing caused my head to hurt,"

I jumped when I heard the door open.

"I'm sorry Nessie. I didn't mean to scare you," grandpa said. "I was just coming to check on you. I am happy to see that you're awake. The family will be relieved. You had everyone scared to death,"

"How could I have scared everyone to death when you're all technically dead already?" I laughed.

"Well you have defied all logic since you were conceived," grandpa added with a smile. "So how are you feeling?"

"Well I have felt better,"

Grandpa sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"Last night your parents were begging me to sneak you out of the hospital and bring you home. They were begging me to just make you a full vampire. They believe it is the best solution for you. That way you don't have to worry about injuries or cancer anymore and I agree wholeheartedly with them. We just need to set a date for it to happen,"

My breath got caught in my throat. I didn't want that. I didn't want to be a full vampire. Call me crazy but if I was going to survive the cancer I wanted to do it as a human. Why? Because I had a dream that one day I would start a family. I wanted to get married and have babies. I wanted to be a mother. Becoming a vampire would ruin that dream.

"Don't worry Nessie. We will set a date soon. I promise. We jusy need to work a few things out," my grandfather had completely misinterpreted my worry. "Anyway Nessie I have some other patients to check on. I will be back to check on you again soon,"

I fely the weight of the world on my shoulders when he left. I was worried about the Volturi coming after my dad. I was worried about being forced to choose between my adoptive mother and my real family. I was worried about what the veterinarians would find when they ran tests on Rexy. Now I am worried about being forced to become a full vampire when that is not what I wanted at all. Would my family even support me if I told them I wanted to stay human?

I didn't know what to do.

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	18. Choice

**Chapter 18: Choice**

 **Nessie's POV**

I was released from the hospital the following morning once my grandfather had deemed that I was okay enough to go home. As long as I rested. I was just happy to be able to leave that place. Being stuck in a hospital meant that that I had a lot of time to think about things that I would rather not think about. Like being forced to transform against my will. Or the Volturi. Or how my father was going to react to becoming a vampire. Or the veternarians possibly finding out there was something different with Rexy.

Leaving the hospital also meant that I no longer had to hide the blood I coughed up here and there. As it is my family were already desperate to transform me. If they even got wind of the possibility that my cancer was getting worse they'd change me before I could even say the word "vampire,"

"What was that honey?"

"What? Oh nothing mom," Had I really said that out loud? Oops. I needed to be more careful around my human mother.

"So how are you feeling sweetie?"

"As well as can be expected right now,"

"I'm sorry. I know with your father's death and now this-"

"It's okay mom. Really it is. I am going to be fine," I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. The truth was I was about as far from fine as I could possibly be. I could not let that be known though.

As soon as we got home I headed straight for my room. It felt weird without Rexy there. I missed having my dog lie down by my side as I watched movies or slept. I looked at the time and realized that I would've been heading to my second appointment with my new psychiatrist by now if mom hadn't canceled it for me after everything that happened.

I hoped my psychiatrist would never be discovered by the Volturi either. If they found out that she could know a person's deepest darkest secrets just from a fee seconds of eye contact I was sure they would go after her. Just like they would go after ny father if they found out about him.

I sighed as I reached for the remote and started watching Netflix. Anything to drain out all the constant worry and anxiety that I felt. I didn't even realize how much time had passed until my mom brouht up a few slices of pizza and some soda.

"Thanks mom,"

"Sure sweetie. Still doing okay?"

I gave her a thumbs up as I chewed a mouthful of pizza.

It was dark outside when I heard something hit my window. I opened my window and shouted "Jake!" excitedly when I saw my best friend/crush standing out there. Oh how I wanted him so badly.

"Nessie back up I am coming up," I watched in amazement as he did some kind of acrobatics and used the tree to propel himself through my window. Then landing ever so gracefully next to my bed.

"Jacob what are you doing here?" I couldn't hide my excitement to see him as I threw my arms around him.

"Why I came to see you of course," his tone of voice implied that it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well thanks Jake but I am not exactly going to be doing anything interesting. I mean I'm pretty much bedridden for now,"

"That's fine by me. I am happy just simply being here witg you,"

"Is my family that bad right now?"

"No but all this constant talk about the Volturi, your father, and when to change you into a vampire is stressing me out a little. I feel most at ease when I am around you though,"

I grimaced.

"What is my presence bothering you? If it bothers you I'll leave ri-"

"No!" I said quickly. "I love having you around Jake. Really I do. It's just. Well this whole turning into a vampire thing-"

"What is it?"

"I don't want to do it,"

"You don't want to do what?" he asked.

"I don't want to be a vampire. I want to stay human,"

"Renesmee you could die if you stay human,"

"I know that. But I want to survive as a human. There are things I want. Things that I will not be able to have if I become a vampire,"

"Like what?"

"Like a baby. I want to have kids one day,"

"You could always adopt if you really wanted a child that badly,"

"I want to have a baby of my own Jacob. I wanted to experience pregnancy. I want to give birth to my own children one day. I want a family. I don't want to give up my ability to have kids. If I survive I am going to do it as a human,"

"Or we could just find that witch that made you human and have her reverse the spell,"

"I think that's out of the quequest Jacob. I haven't seen Sabrina Spellman in 12 years. I wouldn't even know where to begin looking for her,"

"Well then I strongly believe that you should become a vampire,"

"It's not up to you Jacob. It's my decision. I know you don't like it. I know that the rest of my family probably won't support my decision either. But it's my choice. I want to be able to have my own babies. I want to hold onto my humanity,"

"I can't lose you Nessie. Not again. I will not lose you again,"

Jacob looked like he was about to start crying. It hurt me to see him this way.

"Nessie do you realize that if you die. Your parents, both sets of parents, are going to suffer for it? Your adoptive father was turned into a vampire that way you can be happy. How is that going to end up if you die?"

"I am going to fight hard not to die,"

"Please Nessie-"

"Jacob there is something I would like to ask you,"

"Okay?" he sounded confused.

"There is something I would like to do now. In case I do die. With you,"

"Okay what is it?"

"Will you have sex with me tonight?"

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	19. Surprise

**Chapter 19: Surprise**

 **Nessie's POV**

I had completely derailed Jacob with my question. Honestly I was even shocked when the words lefr my mouth. I could feel my heart almost pounding out of my chest as I waited for Jacob's answer.

"No,"

Then my heart stopped beating as the reality of what he said settled in. I took a deep breath. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying. I should've known he would say no. Why would he want me when I was so much younger then him?

"Nessie I want to. I really do. I just think that your first time should be a lot more special than this,"

"Wait," I said, shocked. "Did you just say you want to? That you want me?"

"Nessie I have wanted you since I first saw you again. You're the most beautiful girl I have ever met. You're kind, loving, and special. Why wouldn't I want you? I just think that your first time should be more special. Not just because you think you might die,"

I still felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. Jacob wanted me. Jacob actually wanted me. Even though he said 'no' his reason still put a smile on my face. knowing that he wanted me in the same way that I wanted him was enough for now.

"Why are you smiling?"

I blushed. "Because I'm happy. Being with you makes me happy,"

Suddenly I felt like I could not breathe. I ran down the hallway to the bathroom and coughed. More blood came out this time. Once I was sure the cough attack was over I cleaned myself up and made sure that there was not a trace of blood anywhere. Hiding the fact that I was getting sicker was definitely not going to be easy but I knew that if my family found out my chances of staying human would get even slimmer.

I made my way over to my bedroom slowly in order to stall for time. There was no doubt in my head that Jacob had heard my coughing and I would need to come up with a rationale explanation for it. Just like I needed to come up with a rationale explanation for why I suddenly and inexplicably ran to the bathroom.

"Nessie are you okay?" Jacob asked the second I opened my bedroom door. The worry was etched into every single line on his face.

"I'm fine,"

"Are you sure? I heard coughing and-"

"Don't worry Jacob I'm fine. Okay?"

"No offense but you looked the exact opposite of _fine_ as you ran to the bathroom. You worry me sometimes Ness,"

I wished that there was a way that I could convince him that I was fine. I wish there was a way that I could convince my entire family that I was fine. It was impossible though. Nothing I could ever say would convince my family that I was fine. Not unless I gave them what they wanted and I became a vampire. Something I was sure with every fiber of my being that I never wanted to do.

"Please Ness-"

"I'm fine, okay? I just need some sleep. That's it," I yawned. I was getting sleepy. Sleep wouldn't cure me but it would help.

"Okay I will let you sleep. By the way your father's transformation should be finished some time tomorrow. In case you want to be there for that,"

I nodded but did not say anything. I watched Jacob as he jumped out of my window and left. I laid down in my bed but sleep didn't come easy. There was so much going on inside my head that sleep was almost an impossibility. I thought about everything that my family wanted. For me to become a vampire and leave with them. I thought about my human mother and how much that would devastate her. But if I chose her over my family how would my family feel? Hurt? Betrayed?

If only I could just turn my human mother into a vampire that would solve all the issues. But would my mom even want to become a vampire? That's assuming that she would react well to the fact that vampires even exist and my family is made up of vampires.

Eventually I did fall asleep that night. It wasn't until I heard a noise in the bathroom that I woke up. Curiously I got up and went to go see what it was. The door was open so I was able to look in and see my mother leaning over the toilet.

"Mom?"

She looked startled as she turned around and saw me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm okay sweetie. It's nothing,"

"Are you sure?"

"Well," she sighed. Debating whether to continue or not. "There is something I have to tell you. I'm pregnant,"

"What?" I didn't know what to expect but I sure as hell did not expect this! My parents had been trying for years to have another baby but all of their attempts had failed. They had pretty much given up on the idea of having another baby.

"I'm pregnant,"

"Wow mom that is great news!" I to her excitedly and hugged her. "We could use some good news around here,"

"Yeah I'm just sad that your father never got the chance to hear the news,"

"Well I am sure that where ever he is he is happy. So how far along are you?"

"10 weeks. I found out the day before your father died,"

I felt happier in that moment than I had in a long time. I was going to have a baby brother or sister. Everything seemed a little bit less depressing now. It didn't solve the problem of what I would do if I was ever forced to choose between my two families though. That was the only pressing problem that I had on my hands. I tried as hard as I could to push those thoughts as far away from mind as I could. I thought of my father who would be finishing his vampire transformation today. I thought of my mother who had a baby on the way. For now things were looking up.

I left the house a few hours later after telling my mom that I needed some fresh air. Really I was headed over to the Cullen household. I wanted to be there when my father 'woke up' so to speak. I hadn't called ahead of time to let them know that I was coming but of course aunt Alice had already 'seen' me coming and was therefore waiting for me at the door. She had a weary look on her face and I was terrified to ask why so I didn't.

"Nessie you really shouldn't have come. It is not safe for you to be here," my grandfather said as he embraced me anyway.

"Why not? I wanted to be here with my father woke up,"

"and that is precisely why you should have stayed away. We don't know how he is going to react and newborn vampires are extremely dangerous,"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that,"

"Alice how much more time do we have?"

"Four more hours," she answered.

"Well at least we can discuss other important matters. Such as your transformation Nessie,"

I sighed. "I don't want to be a vampire,"

Nobody moved or said anything as I made my wishes clear. I didn't know what type of reaction I was going to get.

"What do you mean that you don't want to be a vampire!" my mom shouted as she suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Don't you realize what can happen if you don't!"

"Exactly. It _can_ happen. Just because it _can_ it does not mean that it will. I don't want to become a vampire,"

"Why don't we discuss this as a family," my grandfather suggested.

"What is there to discuss?!" mom yelled. "She will die if she isn't changed!"

"Let us discuss this calmly," grandma Esme chimed in. "Why don't you want to become a vampire?"

"Does it matter?!" dad shouted this time. "She could die if she doesn't!"

"If I survive I want to survive as a human," I said as calmly as I could manage.

"This is ridiculous Nessie you will-" I stopped my father before he could continue.

"I want to get married. I want to have children of my own. I don't want to have that future ripped away from me simply because I became a vampire out of fear,"

I was shocked when aunt Rosalie suddenly got up and walked over to me. She placed her arm around in me in support. In solidarity.

"You seriously can't be supporting this Rose," dad said angrily.

"It is her decision and I support her one hundred percent. No one should be forced into this life if they don't want it,"

I was beyond shocked and grateful for my aunt's support. I was not expecting that at all. I was not expecting anyone in my family to support my decision. Before I could think about it anymore though I had another violent cough attack.

"Nessie are you okay?" my grandfather asked.

"I'm fine," I tried to hide my hand which had blood that I coughed up but I was to slow. My grandfather grabbed my hand and saw the blood for himself.

"How long has this been happening?"

"A few days," I admitted.

"A few days? This has been happening for a few days and you have been telling me that you are fine this whole time?"

"Yes," I muttered suddenly feeling afraid. I had never seen grandpa Carlisle look angry before but he definitely looked angry right now.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen do not ever try to hide or lie to me about your health ever again,"

I gulped nervously.

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	20. My Right, My Decision

**Chapter 20: My Right, My Decision**

 **Nessie's POV**

Oh my grandfather was furious. A rare sight to behold. Seeing Carlisle angry was as rare as finding a finding a million dollars. It was just something that didn't happen. I certainly had never seen my grandfather angry like he was right now as he lead me to his study.

I sighed. Trying to keep the fact that my cancer was probably spreading had not exactly gone to plan. Or maybe that was the problem. I did not have a plan. Thinking about it now keeping my secret from a house full of vampires, one who can also read my mind, was a plan that was probably doomed to fail from the start.

Grandpa didn't say much else other then to instruct me to lay down while he did an x ray of my chest. I just laid there quietly while he did his thing. My family had gone completely silent downstairs. The arguing about whether or not to turn me had ceased for now. Whatever hope I had of remaining human had just evaporated into thin air. After I'd be lucky if my parent's didn't hold me down and bite me by force after getting the results of my x ray.

"Just as I feared," my grandfather's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"What's wrong?" I was afraid to ask but needed to know the answer.

"Your cancer has spread. There is a tumor in your right lung along with cancer cells,"

"So what exactly does that mean?"

"It means that your situation has just become a hundred times more dire,"

I took a shaky breath.

"How long do I have?"

"At this rate I would say three maybe four months max,"

My brain couldn't process that information. My brain was refusing to process that information.

"Nessie why did you try to keep your worsening condition a secret? I truly am confused as to why you would keep this from your family,"

"Because I don't want to be a vampire. I was afraid if everyone found out you'd all force me to change against my will,"

Before either of us could say a word my mother was flying through the door. "As you should! Nessie don't you see?! You-"

"I don't want to become a vampire mom haven't I made that clear already?"

"Don't you understand that you-"

"That I can die? That there is like a 99.9% chance I won't survive this. Believe me I understand that perfectly. I have understood that for a long time,"

"Then why are you being so stubborn about this?!"

"Because I still have some hope that I can survive this without having to give up my dreams. Without having to become a vampire. I want a family. I want kids and grandchildren one day. If I die in three or four months I will die with zero regrets. However if I am changed I'm certain that I will regret it,"

"Renesmee this is ridiculous-"

"Bella!" I was shocked to see aunt Rosalie standing in the doorway. "She has the right to do whatever she wants,"

"How can you support this when you know she will most likely die if she isn't changed?"

"Remember you had a choice between staying human and becoming a vampire. You made the decision to become one of us. Renesmee has the very same choice you did and she has every right to choose to stay human,"

"But-"

"Yeah rememember how much you wanted to be a vampire?" I jumped at the sound of Jacob's voice. "It didn't matter how many times I, or anyone else, told you to stay human. Remember how you were so determined to become a vampire no matter what. Now you want to deny your own daughter the right to make that same decision for herself?

"But she'll die if she doesn't," in that moment I understand my mom's fear. She thought I was dead all these years. She found out I was alive. She just got me back. She was afraid of losing me permanently. It wasn't enough ti change my mind. I was stubborn as a mule that way. Now though I understood perfectly where she and my dad were coming from.

"Mom," I said. "Look at me. I know you're afraid of losing me again. But as a vampire I won't be truly happy. I want a chance to fulfill my dreams. If I do die in a few months I will still be happy. I'll be happy because I got to spend the end of my life with you. With all of my family again,"

If vampires could cry my mom would be surrounded by an ocean of tears by now. Yet somehow I knew my words had finally stuck with her. "I understand baby," she hugged me tight. "I'll support your decision even if I don't like it,"

I heard the sound of something breaking and a door slamming downstairs. I looked up bewilderment.

"It's your dad. He doesn't like that I'm not _on his side_ anymore," mom explained. "He'll come around eventually," she said. "I hope,"

"If you came around I'm sure dad will to," I was happy to have at least some family on my side now.

Mom sighed sadly. "I just wish there was something we could do,"

"Actually there might be something," grandpa spoke. "We can try to find this witch. What was her name again?"

"Sabrina Spellman,"

"Do you remember exactly what she looked like?"

"Yes," I was confused by where he was going with this.

"We could look for her. I can contact my friends all over the world and ask them to be on the lookout,"

"What if we don't find her?" mom asked.

"I will treat her cancer as best as I can. I can operate to remove the tumor and cancerous cells from her lungs. That will give us more time to treat the leukemia and look for Sabrina. The operation needs to happen immediately in order for this to work however,"

There was a plan. There was a chance it may not work but it was a plan nonetheless.

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	21. Life Sucks

**Chapter 21: Life Sucks**

 **Nessie's POV**

When I got home that evening I just found myself staring at the wall. I had been brought home before my dad was set to finish his transformation into a vampire. I had wanted to stay but my family wanted me to leave _just in case._ Newborn vampires were at their most uncontrollable. Blood was the only constant thing on their minds. My mother had been the one and only exception thus far. There was no saying what would happen when he woke up so my family wanted me to stay away for now.

Perhaps it was a good thing that I was brought home because my mom, my human mom, wasn't doing so well. When I came home I found her crying on the bathroom floor and I instantly felt guilty for having left her in the first place. Here she was pregnant, alone, and grieving for someone she thought was dead.

My whole life I had never once felt the urge to divulge the truth about vampires. Especially with Aro's threat. But at that very moment I felt the words on the tip of my tongue. Threatening to spill out. It was hard to know the truth and not be able to comfort her. I could tell the truth and risk either spending the rest of my life in a padded cell or getting us all killed.

I sighed. I never thought I would be saying this but I was actually looking forward to my next appointment with my psychiatrist. I was starting to see just how much having a vampire for a psychiatrist would help me. It sucked that I had to reschedule our second appointment after everything that happened.

It felt like the weight of the world was weighing me down as I walked up the stairs. I missed my companion Rexy more than anything. There was a huge part of me that I wished I could go break into the animal hospital and rescue my beloved service dog. It scared me to know that they were keeping him there just to run tests on him. What if they discovered the vampire in my dog's DNA?

I yanked my drawer open with more force than necessary and fumbled around until I found the correct medication that I needed. Once I swallowed the pills it wasn't long before I was feeling the side effects of sleepiness. I didn't wake up until my mom shook me awake the next morning.

"Mom what's wrong?" I asked feeling the panic seeking in.

"Nothing sweetheart. Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I've just gotten a call from the veterinarian. They're ready to release Rexy. They're still going to run more tests but they have all the samples that they need now,"

Suddenly I could feel the anxiety coming back. I quickly grabbed my anxiety medication and swallowed a pill before the anxiety attack could really kick in. I had forgotten that my mother was there until I heard her sigh sadly. I felt bad for her having to deal with a kid as fucked up as I was. My life just sucked period. Why did all the bad luck have ti follow me around and affect those I loved? Hopefully she'll finally get lucky with the new baby and will have the chance to raise a kid.

"I'm alright mom. I swear,"

My words did little to comfort my stressed out grieving mother. I worried about her and the baby. Mom had to be okay for both of their sakes.

"Mom I swear I'm fine. You should go eat something. You look like you haven't eaten in days,"

"I haven't. To upset to eat,"

"Well mom you have to eat. I still need you and my future brother or sister needs you as well. So please take care of yourself. For us. Okay?"

"You're right baby. I'm sorry,"

"Mom," I got up to hug her. "There is nothing to be sorry for. You're in pain. I get that. I'm in pain to. But please at least try,"

"I will," she cried. "I promise. I will try for both of you,"

I held onto my mother as tight as I could. A few days ago my family and I had discussed the possibility of turning my mother into a vampire soon. Then leaving as soon as possible. That way the Volturi would hopefully never find out. We were going to set a date on when tell her. Now with her pregnancy that plan was going to be blown out of the water. I still had yet to tell them of this new development. It would be way too cruel to have her turn now when she was carrying another life inside of her. Would it even be safe to raise a human baby in a house full of vampires?

Mom made egg burritos for breakfast. I didn't realize how hungry I was until the very first bite. As soon as I devoured my breakfast and swallowed the milk I rushed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Mom was just finishing up her breakfast by the time I was finished.

Then we went to the veterinarian to get Rexy. I had never hugged my dog so tightly. His fractures had healed one hundred percent just as the veterinarian has said. His unnaturally fast healing is what caused them to want to do extra testing on him though. So seeing him healed so quickly after saving my life was more unnerving than anything.

We went back home immediately afterwards. I resisted the urge to call my family and find out what happened with my father. For now I was just content to hang out with my dog and try to relax as much as I possibly could. I didn't go back downstairs until my stomach growled. Signaling that it was time for lunch.

I just stopped when I heard the shredder going. Curiously I peaked inside the room. Mom was shredding what appeared to be junk mail.

"Mom?" Mom jumped at the sound of voice. She gave me an odd look that she'd never given before. It made me nervous for some reason. "What are you doing?"

She continued looking at me strangely before answering. "Oh just shredding some junk mail. You got something in the mail from Italy,"

I immediately felt the blood completely drain from my face.

"But I shredded the letter because you don't know anyone from Italy, right?"

"What? No of course not. Why would you even ask that?" I tried to remain calm as I felt another panic attack coming on.

"Okay," she looked at me strangely again as I bolted out of the room.

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	22. Trouble

**Chapter 22: Trouble**

 **Nessie's POV**

It had been two days since I had last seen my family. Or even heard from that for that matter. Which meant that I had been unable to tell them about the letter that had arrived from Italy. I'd be lying though if I said that I had even bothered to try to contact my family about the letter. I knew that I would not be able to keep it from them for long. Heck I would not be surprised if aunt Alice had already seen the letter in one of her visions. Then again who knows? She had never been able to have visions of me before. Not as a half human or a full human. She didn't understand why she could not have visions regarding my future even though I was full human now. I think it's probably just because she believed I was dead for so many years. Therefore she never bothered to look for my future in the first place. I couldn't really say for sure though. It was just a theory.

I sighed as I pushed my homework away from me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't focus on algebra right now. There was just way to much going on in my mind. It was good to finally be able to let it out with my therapist yesterday. It was only my second session with doctor Lyla Brown. Her uncanny ability to know all of my secrets just by making eye contact with me was enough to freak me out. In the first appointment she knew, without me telling her, that I had accidentally pushed my sister into the pool. Causing her to drown before anyone could save her. This time she simply knew everything that had happened since the last time that I had seen her.

I shuddered when I had to relive the memory of seeing my father getting stabbed nearly to death. I thought for sure I was going to barf right there in her office at the memory. Thankfully I didn't. That would have been extremely embarrassing.

Then there was my mother. My human mother that is. She had been acting very strangely since the day she had shredded the Italy letter. She was barely speaking to me. When I asked her what was the matter she did not say anything. Well she said "Everything's fine," and that was it. Straight back to not saying anything. I chalked it all up to stress from 'losing' my dad and pregnancy hormones combined.

School was not much better either. When I returned news about my father's death and Lisa's attempted murder of me had spread through the school like wildfire. Nobody had seen Lisa since she tried to kill me. There were rumors going on that she had fled the state. The police were looking for her everywhere. There were also rumors saying that she had run away simply because she'd gotten pregnant. Those rumors were started by some of her friends. Some friends they were. The only good thing is that without their ringleader Lisa's friends had stopped making my life a living nightmare. I didn't know how long it would last before the bullying would resume but I was enjoying the break for the time being.

My family had stopped coming to school though and that was causing me to worry even more. No matter how many times they had repeated high school they never missed unless it was sunny outside. I just hoped it was because they were helping my father adjust to life as a vampire. Thinking about my father left an empty pit feeling in my stomach. My family has told me what newborn life was like. How thirst and blood was the only thing on your mind. How exceptionally strong and irrational and dangerous newborn vampires were. Every new vampire went through the "newborn phase," as they called it. My mother being the one exception of course.

I groaned as I rubbed my forehead. I could feel a headache coming on. All of this thinking and stress was becoming way to much for my sick human body to handle. Even my grandfather had said that being under so much stress while battling cancer was not good. I think that was part of the reason I felt like I was being left out of the loop on a lot of these issues. They didn't want to worry or stress me out more. But not knowing was equally as bad.

That was when I decide that I would call my family tomorrow. I would call them after school and find out what was going on. In turn I would tell them about that letter I had received from Italy. This was not information that I could keep from them any longer. I had no idea what was in that letter and right now that scared the hell out of me more than cancer did.

I took sleeping pills, something that was starting to become a habit, just to be able to fall asleep. If I didn't I would just lie awake all night think about everything. I didn't wake up until my mother began shaking me.

"Wake up," she said. "Or you're going to be late for school,"

This was the most she had said to me in days. Instead of questioning her I just got out of bed and started getting dressed. I could feel a dull ache in my bones throughout my body today. I couldn't miss anymore school though. I had already missed a lot of school. So I popped a pain killer and waited for it to do its magic.

By the time I arrived in the kitchen mom had already finished making eggs. We ate breakfast in silence. I rushed quickly to brush my teeth and leave before I was late. "Hey Nessie?"

I froze with one foot out the door when mom called me.

"Yes mom?"

What she asked next nearly caused me to go into shock. "Do you believe in vampires?"

I felt like I had been hit my a train. My body froze. My mind froze. I could not form a single coherent thought.

"I-um-no of course not? Why would you ask such a silly question mom?" I thought that playing it off might be the best idea.

I left the house as quickly as I could after that. Everything was quiet but my mind was reeling. Why would mom ask a question like that? Great. Just what I needed. Another question to gnaw at the back of mind. As if I didn't-

"Hey Nessie,"

My heart dropped all the way to the floor. The path I was taking to school was lonely. Not another car or person in sight. I looked around and when I still didn't see anyone I thought it must've been my mind playing tricks on me. But if it was just my mind was Rexy suddenly on high alert? Sniffing at the air?

I walked three more steps when I again I heard someone say "Hey Nessie,"

My heart felt like it was going to gallop right out of my chest.

"I'm right here. Or what? Don't you recognize me?"

Suddenly I see a cloaked figure walking toward me. I was on the verge of having a full on panic attack. Not even Rexy could relax me. I gasped when I recognized the hooded figure. She had changed. Her skin was much paler and her green eye color had been replaced by bright red eyes. The sinister smile on her face filled me with dread. There dressed in a black hooded robe with the Volturi crest hanging around her neck stood my tormentor. The girl who had pushed me in front of a moving truck.

"Lisa?"

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	23. Danger

**Chapter 23: Danger**

 **Nessie's POV**

I should have been running for my life. Any sane person would be running for their life. Fear had rooted me to the spot though. I tried to move but I couldn't. I literally could not. My heart was beating faster. I could feel the pressure in my ears from my heart pounding ten timee harder than it normally does.

I looked Lisa in her blood red eyes and immediately felt several shivers run down the base of my spine. Despite the fear though I still wondered. How the hell did this happen? How did she become a vampire? What was she doing with the Volturi.

"Surprised to see me Renesmee Carlie Cullen?" she sneered in disgust. "I always knew that you were a freak. But this? A half human half vampire monstrosity turned full human by a witch? That just brings your freakiness to an entire new level,"

Every second spent in her presence increased the level of fear in my body. Unlike when I have a panic attack the danger here was very real. She could kill at a second's notice and I would be helpless to do anything about it in my human state.

"You reek you know? Is that the fear or your cancer riddled body?" she smiled.

I was momentarily taken aback by how she suddenly knew so much about me. How she knew what I was. Who I was. And the fact that I had cancer. Not many people knew that I was dying. That was information I kept secret from the outside world.

"Well aren't you going to ask? I mean you've got to be wondering? Come on ask the questions that I know you are dying to ask,"

"What?"

"Oh my god you really are stupid aren't you little freak? Are you not wondering what happened to me? Don't you want to hear my story? Aren't you the least bit interested how I know all about you? Your whole story? After all you are the reason for my current state,"

"What happened?"

"Now that's more like it. Let me go back to the beginning, shall I? Let's see it all started after you went to the police the second time. You know after I accidentally pushed you into the street,"

"It was not an accident!" I shouted in sudden anger. "You wanted to kill me! There were witnesses!"

"Shut up!" she screamed. Her flaming red eyes reminded me of the danger I was in. The anger I felt had evaporated as quickly as it came and was replaced by fear again. "I'm not finished. It's impolitento interrupt people when they are talking,"

If I wasn't so scared right now I would have died of laughter. She never hesitated to interrupt other people when they were talking.

"So you see after you got the police involved about our little incident there was a warrant out there for my arrest. obviously I couldn't go to prison. So I had only one choice. I had to run away and hide,"

I gulped nervously. My heart was pounding so hard I was surprised that it had not jumped out of my chest. Fear still gripped me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. Yet I couldn't do either of those things. At that same time though I was anxious to hear the rest of her story for some reason.

"See I was camping out one night in the forest when I was suddenly attacked. After that I endured the worst burning pain I could ever imagine for three days straight. Afterwards when I 'woke up' everything was better. I could see, hear, smell, and run faster than ever before. Then there was the incredible strength," the sinister smile never left her face as she told her story. "That's not all though. There was a guy there. A very handsome guy named Damien. He told me all about vampires and explained how I had become one. He told me why he had changed me as well. He said that he'd been _scouting for talent and sensed great potential in me_ so he changed me to see what would happen. I didn't disappoint. Since I was _civil_ for a newborn vampire he brought me to Italy where I was immediately recruited when they discovered what I could do. I'm sure that by now you have already figured out who recruited me,"

I screamed when a loud bark and growling sounded sounded throughout the area. The growling didn't stop though. When I looked down at Rexy I was horrified by what I saw. His body was crouched down, teegth bared, ready to attack me at a second's notice.

"Rexy-" he suddenly lunged at me but I moved just in the nick of time. I ran as fast as I could. I didn't make it more than a few feet before I fell and he caught up to me. I cried as I felt his razor sharp teeth bite into my leg.

"Rexy stop! What are you doing?!"

Lisa's laughter caught my attention. "Don't bother it's useless. It seemed my ability to get people to do what I want makes for an intriguing gift in an immortal,"

"Mind control,"

She smiled. "I guess you're not so stupid after all. According to the Volturi there has never been a gift quite like mine before. I can get humans, vampires, and even stupid animals like your dog to do whatever I want. Best part is there is nothing anyone can do about it until I decide enough is enough,"

Suddenly Rexy stopped attacking me but I was forced to stand against my will. It also means that I can kill you without really having to get my hands dirty,"

My body suddenly lurched forward. My feet being forced to walk against my will. I tried to fight it but it was as if there was an alien presence in my body. I was no longer in control of my own movements. Rexy growled and nipped my ankles several times. Alerting me to the fact that my dog was still under Lisa's mind control as well.

When I saw where I was heading I became terrified out of my mind. I doubled my efforts to fight whatever was going on in my mind to no avail. Train tracks. I could hear the train coming around the corner.

My body deliberately stood itself in the center of the train tracks. I tried to move but my feet remained rooted to the spot. I couldn't regain control over my own mind and body. I was going to die. All I could do was watch as the train sped closer and closer.

Something suddenly slammed into the side of my body. Knocking the wind out of me. I got to my feet and started heading back toward the train tracks only to have wolf Jacob yank me back once again. I struggled against him. At some point he had phased and grabbed me tightly in his arms.

"Nessie what are you doing?!" he screamed hysterically.

"I'm not in control! The grip Lisa's power had over my mind still as strong as ever. "I'm not in control!"

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	24. Not In Control

**Chapter 24: Not In Control**

 **Nessie's POV**

"I am not in control!" I shouted over and over as my body twisted and fought against Jacob's hold. The grip Lisa had on my mind compelling me to go over to the train tracks to get killed.

I screamed out in pain when I hit Jacob with my right elbow; causing it and numerous other bones in my right arm to break. A human fighting a wolf like Jacob pretty much guranteed an injury. Even with the added injury my body still continued to fight against him.

I could see the wound where Rexy had bitten me was still bleeding. My arm was in excruciating pain. Yet I could not make myseldlf stop fighting to get to those train tracks. Lisa's grip on my mind refused to lessen or be fought.

"I need help! I don't know what's going on with Nessie but I need help right now!" I heard Jacob shout into what I assumed was a phone. He was distracted long enough for me to break free. Lisa forcing my legs to run back to the tracks.

Jacob grabbed me yet again. "Oh God Nessie!"

"I don't-I can't control-"

At that moment I saw my mother and father running as fast as they could to us. Not even bothering to use their 'human' speed as they normally would've. Mentally I pleaded with my father. The horror in his eyes when he saw what was really going on inside my mind became apparent immediately.

"Bella shield her immediately!"

Just like that Lisa's presence was banished from my mind. No longer a prisoner in my my own mind and body I was in control once again. Immediately I stopped fighting Jacob. Suddenly Rexy was running straight for me. Growling and snarling.

"Bella shield the dog to," my father said. The effect was instantaneous. Rexy skidded to a halt before he reached me. Going from a vicious dangerous animal to my beloved service dog.

"Okay they're both shielded now can someone please explain what's going on?"

"Mind control,"

"What?" both mom and Jacob asked at exact same time. I would have laughed had it not been so serious.

"It was Lisa. She's back. As a vampire," my father explained for me. "Apparently she has the gift of mind control. Nessie and Rexy here were both victims of her mind control,"

"How did she become a vampire?" Mom asked.

"Okay I hate to interrupt this conversation but while we were under her control Rexy attacked me and I broke my arm trying to get away from Jacob. I'm in immense pain right now and need medical attention. So can we have this conversation later?"

Jacob didn't say a word as he lifted me into his massively warm arms. My heart might've skipped a few beats as my head rested against his bare muscled chest. The warmth from his body soothed my frayed nerves.

Jacob almost busted down the door when we arrived. It seemed that neither my mother or father had called ahead of time to explain what happen because my entire family was shocked to see. My grandfather was the first to recover from that shock.

He ran over and grabbed me from Jacob's arms. "I got her,"

As I glanced back at my family my heart stopped beating once again when I saw my human turned vampire father for the first time. Although he had the same pale skin as the rest of my family, and standard blood red eyes of all newborns, he still resembled my father. Yes it looked like God himself had enhanced and perfected everyone single one of his physical attributes, giving him that inhuman beauty all vampires had, but I could still recognize him.

"I am going to inject you with some pain medication first," my grandfather asked as soon as soon as he laid me down in his study upstairs. I grimaced when I felt the needle going into my arm.

"What happened?" my grandfather asked as he started cleaning and disinfecting the dog bite first.

"Lisa happened," mom answered as she, dad, and Jacob walked in.

"The girl who tried to kill you a few weeks ago?"

"Yes," the effects of the pain medication were starting to kick in. "She's a vampire now. With the ability to control people's and animals's minds," I explained.

"How did she become a vampire?" Grandpa asked. "Do you know?"

"Yes. She said that while she was hiding she met someone named Damien. He was scouting for talent for the Volturi and found Lisa. He sensed great potential in Lisa and changed her. When her power became apparent he took her to Italy and was immediately recruited into the guard when they found out what she could do,"

"So why was she here? Is the Volturi here?" The anger in Jacob's voice was very apparent.

"I don't know. She never explained all that because that's when she decided to off me,"

"I'm going to kill her. I swear I am going to kill her. It won't be a fast painless death either," it shocked me to hear my mom talk this away. "I will make her pay for even thinking about laying a finger on my baby,"

"Oh she is definitely going to pay," dad added.

"I want in on this murder plot," Jacob seethed. "No one harms my Nessie and gets away with it!" he shouted, slamming his fist on the table.

"I don't exactly relish the thought of killing another creature. Even a sadistic one like Lisa but something needs to be done," grandpa said. "Now that she is with the Volturi it won't be that simple either," he said as he finished up my dog bite wound and got started on my broken arm.

"So are we going to do now that we know she's out there?" I couldn't contain my fear of having to go through mind control and almost getting killed again.

"I will stay with you at all times," mom said. "I will stay with you and make sure that you and Rexy are shielded against her at all times,"

"But mom what about hunting? What about-"

"I'm more concerned about you than I am about myself right now Nessie. I will have to make do somehow but I can't leave you unprotected,"

I turned to my dad but he just said "I agree wholeheartedly with your mother on this Nessie," before I could even get a word out.

I sighed.

"The Volturi sent a letter," I spat out as soon as I remembered.

"What?" my family gasped..

"I have no idea what it said because mom shredded it before I could read it but I'm sure it was them. I don't know anyone else in Italy,"

"Not good. The Volturi might be closer then we think and if they discover what your father can do-"grandpa closed his eyes.

"What?" I gasped.

"Remember Alice's prediction about his gift? It came true. His power manifest itself for the first time the day after his transformation. His gift is that of thievery. He can steal another vampire's gift and either keep it for himself or transfer it to someone else. Trust me when I say he's already _borrowed_ Alice's, Jasper's, your mother's, and my gift," dad explained. "Just imagine what Aro would do with a gift like that,"

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	25. Secrets and Lies

**Chapter 25: Secrets and Lies**

 **Nessie's POV**

"I need you to rest," grandpa said after he finished setting my arm. "You have been through a lot for one day,"

"It's only 9:30am," I answered in a way that I hoped would lighten up the situation a little bit.

It worked and grandpa cracked a smile. "All the more reason for you to rest. You do not need this kind of luck following you around for the rest of the day,"

As soon as grandpa left I started feeling sleepy. Whether it was the morning's events catching up to me or uncle Jasper using his gift to make me fall asleep I wasn't sure. What I did know was that when I closed my eyes it did not take me long to drift off to sleep.

When I woke up everything was silent around me. I couldn't hear a thing. Not a single peep from my family. I was not sure how long I had been asleep. It could have been a few minutes or a few hours and I would not have known.

I shifted my body slightly causing pain to shoot up my right arm. I had to bite my tongue to prevent myself from screaming. Obviously the pain medication that my grandfather had given me earlier was beginning to wear off.

I nearly had a heart attack when I opened my eyes and saw red eyes staring at me. How I was able to stop myself from screaming was beyond me. It was not until I realized that it was my adoptive father that I started to calm down.

He just stared at me. Unmoving. Without saying a single word to me. I didn't quite know what to say either. It was not until that moment that I begun to realize that this was all knew for my father. He had quite literally been suddenly and violently thrown into the world of vampires. Torn away from everything and everyone he loved. My family were strangers to him.

I could empathize with my father as I understood what it felt like to be ripped away from my family. Torn away from everything and everyone I ever loved. I had been forced into the human world much the same way my father had been forced into the vampire world. Sure I'd been half human but up until the battle with the Volturi I'd only known the supernatural world. Charlie being one of only a few humans I knew. The supernatural world was all I had ever known until it suddenly vanished from my life.

For my father the situation was the exact opposite but I could understand what he was feeling.

"Dad I-" I sighed. Not really knowing what to say. "Do you-I mean-did they tell you about me?" I didn't even know why I was asking. Certainly ny family would have filled him in on my story already.

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore,"

I was hurt by my father's words. Yet at the same time I couldn't exactly argue either. I had kept a huge ass part of my life secret for many many years. All my life I had been faking memory loss of my earlier years. Once Sabrina had turned me into DCFS the official story was that she had found me abandoned and I had no memory of my family.

"I couldn't exactly tell you and mom what happened to me. I hope you understand that,"

"I understand," he said. "But knowing that you have been carrying this secret with yoh all these years. That you've had this whole other life. This whole other family. It's a lot to take in,"

Even though I understood what my father was saying his words still stung a little. He was my dad. We had always been close and we told each other everything. Well almost everything. Now he was basically telling me that I was a complete stranger to him.

"Dad?" I took a deep breath. "How are you handling everything?"

"As well as one can expect I guess," he answered. "Sometimes I think death would have been better,"

"What?" I gasped in shock. "Dad you can't say that. I mean how could you say that?"

"Because I was torn away from my family that's why. I was ripped away from everything and everyone I loved. Now all I have is your family. Don't get me wrong they have all beem very nice, welcoming, and all around wonderful people but what I really want is your mother. You and your mother. I want everything to go back to the way it was before,"

Even though there were no tears my father's voice rang with sadness. Had I been selfish in wanting to keep my adoptive father alive as a vampire? Sure it was my grandfather that made the decision to change him but he only did so because of me. Maybe it was the wrong decision and now my father would hate his existence for tbe rest of eternity.

"Wait. Didn't they tell you that they were thinking of turning mom into a vampire as well?" I questioned.

"Yes but what if your mother says no? What if she wants no part of this life? Then what?"

For once I was silenced. That was a possibility that had never once occured to me. If mom said no then where did that leave my dad? Where did that leave me? I shook my head. It was a possibility that I didn't even want to consider.

"Well at least I will still have you," suddenly my dad's ice cold arms are hugging me tightly. "If I can't keep everything from my former life at least I will be able to keep one thing,"

Suddenly the tears are streaming down my face. Then next thing I know memories of my dead sister are flooding my brain. The day we were running around the pool playing tag when I accidentally pushed her in; causing her to drown before I could get help. The memories replaying themselves on a loop. I knew I couldn't keep this a secret anymore.

"Dad I have to tell you something," my heart beating so fast it felt like it would jump out of my chest. I knew I had to say it now though before I lost the courage to do so. "Nicole's death was my fault. I lied when I said she slipped and fell in I-" I gulped nervously. "We were playing tag and when I tagged her I accidentally pushed her into the pool that day. Dad I'm so sorry," I cried. My whole body was shaking from head to toe.

Dad let's go of me as if my skin was suddenly unbearable to the touch. He looks at me and then leaves the room without saying another word. Leaving me, a crying mess, behind.

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	26. Pain Demands To Be Felt

**Chapter 26: Pain Demands To Be Felt**

 **Nessie's POV**

They say that the truth will set you free. It certainly didn't feel that way for me. I always knew that telling the truth about what happened to my sister the day she died wasn't going to be easy. I imagined how my parent's would react a million times before. Probably even two or three million. I always thought they'd react angrily. However my father leaving without saying a word to me? That was worse than anything I had ever imagined before. I wanted him to be angry. I wanted him to scream and yell at me about what a disgusting excuse I am for a human being.

Silence was way worse. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get myself to stop crying after my father walked out in silence. The worst part is that I still had to tell my mother. I wasn't over with confessing the truths of my past.

I looked up when I heard the door open. I was surprised to see my vampire mom standing there. I quickly wiped my tears away even though it was too late. She'd already seen and heard me crying.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It hurts," I answered. "Pain is all I know. Feeling it and causing it,"

"Nessie don't say that," mom replied sternly. "Do not ever say that,"

"Why not? It's true. I'm not good for anything but-"

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen I swear to God if you finish that sentence you will be feeling a very different kind of pain, understood?"

I immediately shut my mouth and nodded my head yes.

"You heard what I did though," I whispered knowing full well that she could still hear me anyways.

"Nessie it was an accident-"

"A careless stupid accident that never should have happened!" I cried. "Happiness was just never in the cards for me I guess. After losing you and dad I find a wonderful human family to take care of me. How do I repay them? By causing their biological daughter's death. What kind of monster does that make me?" I sobbed. The feeling of my mother's ice cold arms around my body as she hugged me tightly to her was comforting.

"What happened that day?"

I couldn't bring myself to talk. The memories instead just replayed themselves in my head. It wasn't the first time that I had relived that day and I was sure that it would not be the last. Mom gasped.

"What's wrong mom?" I managed to ask through my sobbing.

"I saw that Nessie. I saw that,"

I couldn't believe what she was saying. "What?"

"Your power. I think it's coming back,"

"But how? I mean I am only human,"

"I don't know," she said. "I really don't know. All I know is that I saw what you were thinking,"

My sobs quieted as I thought about this new development. What exactly did that mean? I couldn't exactly be sure.

"I'm sorry you went through this Nessie. You shouldn't have had to carry this secret for years either,"

I sighed. "I wanted to tell the truth. From the very beginning I wanted to tell the truth about what happened but I was scared,"

"Oh what?"

"What would happen when the truth was discovered. I was afraid that my adoptive famiky would hate me and now that's exactly what happened,'

"Nobody hates you Nessie,"

"My dad certainly does and so will mom when she knows,"

"I don't think your father hates you Nessie,"

"You see!" I shouted. "Even you aren't sure that's the truth!" I sobbed. "Why else would he walk away without saying anything,"

"It's probably just a lot for him to process right now. Give him some time and I'm sure he will come around,"

"I'm tired," I yawned.

"Then you should get some rest. You need it baby,"

As soon as mom left I closed my eyes. I didn't realize that I'd actually fallen asleep until grandma Esme woke me up.

"It's time for you to go home," she said as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Your human mother is here for you,"

"What?!" I jumped awake.

"She called your cellphone wondering why you weren't in school. Edward answered and explained that you had an accident on your way to school. That he'd found you and brought you here so Carlisle could help you,"

"Oh," I breathed. "But did she see my dad?"

"No we kept your father out of sight although just barely. He had to be restrained when he heard her,"

"I better go then. The less time my mom is here the better,"

I went to the bathroom quickly just to make sure that I looked somewhat presentable. There were no more tears...for now. Which was a good thing.

As soon as we were in the car my mother went on a tirade. Giving me a long lecture about how I should've called her immediately to tell her what was going. Instead of nearly giving her a heart attack by letting the principle be the one to inform her about my absence.

Had it only been this morning since I had left for school? It seemed like a life time ago after that has happened today.

"Are you even listening to me right now?!"

"What? Yeah I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to cause such worry,"

"Just don't ever do that to me again, okay?"

"I understand mom,"

"Good,"

I was to tired to do much of anything for the rest of the day. I went straight up to my bed and started playing a movie. Rexy curled up right next to me. Even mom sensed how tired I was. She came up to check on me a few times and once to bring me some pizza that she had ordered. When I went to sleep that night I was just glad that the day was over.

I woke up in the middle of the night in the worst pain imaginable. Everything hurt and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't breathe. It felt as if my lunges were filling up with water. No worse than that. It was as if my lunges had just decided to quit on me.

Rexy jumped up and sprinted from my room. Barking like I had never heard him bark before. I fell to the floor and couldn't get up no matter how hard I trie . Pain. I was familiar with pain in every sense of the word. Both physical and emotional. My pain demanded to be felt in every way possible.

Mom came running into the room and as soon as she saw me she picked up my phone and with trembling fingers managed to dial 911.

"It's my daughter," I could tell by the sound of her voice she was barely keeping it together. "She has leukemia and I don't know what's going on right now but she needs help!"

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. I repeated the word over and over in my head but my lungs refused to cooperate. I gasped for breath and felt no relief whatsoever. After what felt like an eternity but what was probably only a few minutes the paramedics arrived. I was loaded onto a stretcher and loaded into the ambulance.

My vision kept fading as the paramedics worked furiously on me. Their efforts weren't making a difference. With each passing second I could feel myself slipping closer and closer to unconsciousness.

"We're losing her!" someone shouted.

I knew right then and there that this would be the end for me. I would never get my chance at happiness. I would never get married or have children of my own like I wanted. It made sense. I didn't deserve to have a long happy life with a loving family after what I had done. I would even understand if, the next time I woke up, I found myself in hell. After all had I not broken one of the sacred ten commandments? Thou shall not kill?

I could accept death and whatever punishment that God may have in store for me in the afterlife.

"We're losing her!"

Darkness overcame me as I waited for death to claim me.

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	27. Death and Dying

**Chapter 27: Death and Dying**

 **Nessie POV**

At first there was nothing. No pain. No heartache. There was nothing. I was filled with a peace in my heart that I could not even begin to understand. I opened my eyes and let out a blood curdling scream when I saw that there was nothing but clouds before me. In that moment I knew that I was dead. But why was I here? Why was I not burning up in hell like I deserved. That was what I deserved after causing my sister's death. That is what I deserved for all the pain that I had caused. Yet here I was. Not burning in hell. But where was I? Unless I had yet to be judged and that's why I wasn't in hell yet.

I saw a light up ahead and instinctively I started walking towards it. Or was floating a more accurate discription? As I got closer I saw that there was a pearly white gate with lines of people waiting to get in. I still didn't understand what was going on or where I was.

There was a man there asking the people in line a bunch of questions. Upon closer inspection I saw that the man had wings. Meaning he was an angel. I was dumbfounded by this whole situation. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I had died.

"Name?" The angel asked when it was my turn.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen,"

"Age?"

"12,"

"12?" He questioned in obvious confusion. Then understanding lit up his face. "Oh I see. I get it now. You're one of God's hybrids,"

"Excuse me?"

"God made you genetically half vampire and half human at birth,"

"Oh. Yeah. Right."

"I'm sorry it's just that I don't process death applications for your kind very much,"

"Death application?"

"Oh yes. All heaven bound souls must be registered as citizens before entering the kingdom of God," he explained. "Anyway, cause of death?"

"Heaven bound soul? That has to be a mistake,"

The angel shook his head. "Nope not a mistake. When you died your soul was on a path bound for Heaven. Not hell. When death claims a soul that soul automatically knows where it's destined to go," I was in absolute and total shock. "Now cause of death?"

"Cancer that had spread to my lungs. I couldn't breathe," he took a moment to jot that information down.

"Okay kid you're free to go. Your family is waiting for you,"

Just like that gates opened for me. Whereas before I could see nothing on this side of the gate now I saw other souls like me everywhere. There were also buildings everywhere. Houses, shops, even what looked like a school. It was so peaceful, so beautiful. I felt healthier than I had in years.

It seemed way too good to be true. What had I done in my time on Earth that caused me to be a heaven bound soul?

"Nessie? Oh my God is that really you?!"

I turned around at the sound of a voice I hadn't heard in so many years. Shocked to find my sister Nicole, who hadn't aged a day, running toward me. "Nessie I can't believe you're really here?!" I was too shocked to move when she threw her arms around me.

"I can't believe it," once I got over the shock I started crying. "Oh my God,"

"I'm so happy to see you Nessie,"

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't I? Your my sister. Although I didn't expect to see you for many many more years,"

"Because I-"

"Accidentally pushed me into the pool? I l know that Nessie but I've never blamed you for what happened,"

"If it wasn't for me you would still be alive," i snivelled. The sight of seeing my sister still had me shook to the core.

She shook her head. "It was destined for me to die that day. Even if you hadn't accidentally pushed me in I would've died another way. I know because I asked God myself,"

"You what?"

"It was an accident Nessie. I know you've been blaming yourself all these years. It hurt to watch you blame and torture yourself. So please stop. Your my sister and I love you. I have always loved you,"

I sighed. "So you're saying that you forgive me?"

"No," she said. "Because there is nothing to forgive. Like I said it was predestined to happen. My time on Earth was up. What I have been wanting to tell you for so long is that you need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and you will be set free,"

"I-" I couldn't quite get the words out to describe what I was feeling.

"Anyway let's go home. There is someone I want you to meet before you go to your orientation tonight,"

"My what?"

"Oh they didn't tell you about orientation? Every night God has an orientation for all the new souls that entered heaven that day. He just gives you the rundown on what to expect after your death, what heaven is like, etc...anyway-"

"Nessie is that you?"

I stood frozen in my spot. I was shocked when I saw Irina Denali. She was killed for 'bearing false witness against the Cullens' during the Volturi confrontation.

"Irina?"

"Yes it's me. I never thought I'd see you here," she commented.

"Neither did I,'

"I'm sorry Nessie. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused. I made a huge mistake that destroyed your family and seperated you from your family. I'm so sorry for causing you and your family so much pain,"

"It's okay Irina. The Volturi are evil. That's all on them,"

"But still-"

"Like my little sister here just told me. Stop torturing yourself and-"

"No I need to apologize to you. I just wish that I could apologize to the rest of the Cullens as well,"

It hurt thinking about my family back on Earth. They would all be devestated. I didn't even want to imagine how the Cullens felt. They find out I'm alive after so many years only for me to go and die on them. And my human mother? I only hoped my family would take carr of her in this time of immense grief.

"You okay Nessie?" Nicole asked.

"Just thinking about my, our family,"

"It'll be alright Nessie," Irina answered in a comforting tone. "I'm sure it will be,"

I hoped and prayed that she was right.

My sister grabbed my hand and pulled me gently. Leading me to God only knows where. "Irina has always been nice to me,"

"You know her?"

"You'd be surprised who I know up here. Elizabeth and Edward Masen Sr. have been my adoptive parents up here,"

I felt my jaw drop to the floor. "What?"

"When kids like me die we are placed into foster care if we don't have other family to take care of us. We get adopted out the same way you did on Earth. I think that was predestined to. I mean what are the chances that they are your biological grandparents?"

"Nicole where have you been? We've been worried-" The woman stopped the moment that she saw me. I immediately saw my father and myself in her. "Nessie?"

"Grandma?"

"Elizabeth what's going on?"

"Edward look"

"It can't be,"

Next thing I know I'm being hugged for the millionth time that day. My family. I had family here. I had a loving family here.

"You're so beautiful Nessie," my grandmother said.

"Thanks," I answered. Death was surreal. Meeting your dead little sister was more surreal. However meeting your grandparents that have been dead for over a century is the most surreal of all.

They brought me inside of their house. It was nice being their with my family. Listening to them tell me stories about their lives and what they have all been up to in heaven. What made me the most happy was knowing that my sister has been loved and well taken care of in the years since her death. She not only had a family up here but great friends as well. Irina had become like family to her.

I was happy. There was no pain. Only peace, freedom, and love. Suddenly there was a frantic knocking on the door. An angel quickly flew in looking around desperately before seeing me.

"There you are Nessie! You must come with me at once!"

"What? Why?"

"There's been a mistake,"

"Mistake?" we all said at the same time.

"You were not supposed to die. When your death application was submitted we checked the list of the souls we were expecting and you weren't on it. God confirmed that you were not supposed to die,"

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that your mission on Earth has not been completed. It's exceedingly rare that thia happens but death made a mistake claiming your soul,"

"So what exactly does this mean?"

"It means you have to go back right now before anything happens to your body,"

I took in all this information slowly. Extremely slowly. I hadn't even finished processing the fact that I was dead yet and now this?!

"Will I still have the cancer?"

"Unfortunately your living body will still be afflicted with illeness,"

I sighed.

"It's okay Nessie," my sister said as she hugged me. "I love you. Be in peace knowing that I'm happy here. Tell mom and dad that I love them and miss them so much. Oh and take care of our little brother,"

"Little brother?"

"We see and know a lot up here. Mom is going to have a boy. Take care of him,"

Grandma Elizabeth stepped forward and hugged my sister. Her daughter. "Tell Edward that I love him and miss him. That I'm happy he has found happiness with your mother and you. Oh and tell him to stop believing that he's damned to hell just because of what he is. As you see that's not true,"

"Okay,"

"and tell my son that I'm sorry I wasn't there for him more in life. I see the relationship he has with Carlisle and I know now what I missed out on by not being closer to him," my grandpa Edward added.

"Sure thing,"

"One more thing before you go," Irina stepped forward. "Tell everyone how very sorry I am for everything that happened. Tell them that if I could undo my mistake I would. That I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused,"

"I will," I promised.

"Are you ready kid?"

I closed my eyes and I felt like I was flying. Suddenly it stopped and I could almost feel my soul slam into my body. I awoke surrounded by darkness. I screamed at the top of my lungs. Then suddenly I couldn't breathe again. It was like before when my lungs suddenly stopped working.

The unit where my body was being contained is yanked open. There was nothing but pure shock written all over my grandfather's face. He grabbed me with trembling hands and rushed me out of the room which I quickly realized was a morgue.

I was rushed to the ICU where everyone including my human mother was waiting. Only my adoptive father was missing. Nothing but shock and disbelief written all over their faces.

"How-! She's been dead for a whole hour already?!" Bella shouted.

"I don't know," grandpa said as he got me connected to a breathing machine. An hour? Was that how long I was in heaven? It seemed like much longer.

As soon as I was connected I took my first breath in an hour.

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	28. Alive Again

**Chapter 28: Alive Again**

 **Nessie's POV**

There was so much going on at the same time that I couldn't keep up with it all. All the doctors were making a huge fuss over me. Running more tests on me than I could count. None of them could answer the question though. How did I come back from the dead an hour later? There was no logical explanation for what happened. It could not be explained by medicine or science.

 _A miracle._ I overheard them say. As I recounted my adventure in heaven I had to agree. There weren't many, if any at all, that could truthfully say that they had gone to heaven and returned to the living to tell the tail. I hadn't told anyone yet. Actually I had yet to say a single word since miraculously coming back to life.

I hadn't gotten much time with my family as they'd all been rushed out of the room so the doctors could do numerous tests on me. Asking numerous questions that I didn't answer. My silence only further confounded the doctors. I didn't want to be asked a bunch of questions though. Really what I wanted was just to be left alone. I needed time to process everything that happened to me that day.

Once the doctors started to realize that they were not going to get any answers about anything they started to leave my room. Until one by one they were all gone. Until finally I was alone.

The breathing tube was a painful reminder that I was still sick. In heaven I felt so healthy. There was no pain, no illness, just peace. But death was not meant to claim me just yet. The biggest difference now is that I wasn't afraid of death anymore. Knowing who and what was waiting for me on the other side made dying less scary. I have loving family in heaven just as I do on Earth.

I hated being connected to all these machines. The pain wasn't as bad anymore since one of the doctors had setup an IV and gave me pain medication that way. Everything was silent. A stark contrast to what it had been before. Now maybe I would be able to get some peace and quiet to process everything that had happened to me today.

The sound of the doorknob being twisted open made me groan. So maybe I wouldn't ever have a true moment of piece again. To my relief however it was just grandpa Carlisle. Physically he looked fine but mentally he looked exhausted.

He went and sat down on the chair facing me. Not saying a single word. I didn't need to have my father's mind reading ability to know that there were a million, no, a billion questions going through his mind right now. He probably just didn't know where to start.

"This is the second time you've come back to us," he said five minutes later. "I don't know how. Medically, scientifically, there's no explanation for this,"

"I don't even fully understand it. It's even hard for me to explain and I'm the one that lived through it. Or is 'died through it' a more accurate statement?"

"Explain what Nessie?" grandpa curiously.

"You really haven't wondered grandpa? You've been so focused on trying to figure out how I came back after an hour that you haven't stopped to wonder what I was experiencing that whole time?"

From his shocked expression I guessed that he hadn't given a single thought to what my experience was post death. He'd been so busy focusing on just the 'how' aspect and nothing else.

"Don't you want to know what happened to me and why I came back?"

"I must admit that you're right. I had not given that a single thought. Until now that is,"

I took a deep breath. "Grandpa do you believe in God?"

"Yes. I've always been a man of God. Ever since my human days. My own father was an Anglican Pastor. I've also been blessed with many good things in my life. So much so that I can't doubt the existence of God,"

"So you believe in the afterlife? Heaven and Hell?"

"I do. Yes,"

"Good. Hopefully my story won't seem so farfetched then,"

"Renesmee you just came back to life after an hour of being dead. We are way past farfetched at this point,"

I had to smile at that. "Well after I died the first thing I saw was a pearly white gate. There was lines and lines of other people waiting to get in. I stood in one of those lines. There was an angel up ahead asking questions about who we were, how old we were, and how we died. Apparently when you die they have to process a 'death application' for you. To register you as a citizen of heaven. While I was up there I met my sister, my grandparents Edward and Elizabeth Masen, and even Irina,"

I paused to take another deep breath. "It was really beautiful up there. So peaceful. There was no pain. It was a wonderful feeling really. Just to feel healthy again. No illness and no pain. Then seeing my family so happy. My sister was adopted by my grandparents up there. Apparently that's what happens when kids die and they have no one else,"

"You saw-"

"Yes I saw my dead relatives. I saw Irina. Actually I have quite a few messages to pass along," I chuckled.

"Messages?"

"Yeah I have messages to pass along but only after the rest of the family hears my story,"

"But how is it that you are back?"

"Because I was not supposed to die. Apparently death made a mistake in claiming me. Luckily there was still enough time to correct that mistake. The angel told me that my time on Earth was not up. Yes I would still be sick but my mission here wasn't over,"

"This seems so surreal,"

"Everything about this still feels unreal to me and I'm the one who experienced it,"

"I am so sorry Nessie,"

"What?"

"This is all my fault. We have been so busy dealing with Lisa and the threat of the Volturi that I have been neglecting you and your health when I was the one who told you that your health was urgent. None of this would've happened if I would've started-"

"Grandpa stopped none of this was your fault. I don't blame you. Actually as crazy as it sounds I'm happy I died as it's actually brought me more peace then I could've ever imagined. I wouldn't change a thing even if I had the chance,"

"Your cancer is worse now,"

"I know that,"

"No I mean that you're lungs have completely stopped working on their own. You will need to be connected to a breathing machine at all times. You will need a lung transplant now. If I would've-"

"Grandpa there's no use beating yourself up over it. If this is the price I had to pay to be able to see my family, my sister once again, even if it were just a few minutes, I will pay it gladly,"

"Okay Nessie. We will discuss things more tomorrow. For now you need to rest and get some sleep,"

"I'm not sure I will be able to sleep after everything that's happened,"

"Then I will give you a sedative to help you sleep,"

Seconds later I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I heard movement in the room. That was the first thing that I was aware of. I opened my eyes and saw darkness all around. I blinked a few times to get the bluriness out of my eyes.

"About time you wake up loch ness monster," Instantly I'm filled with dread when I hear her voice. I turn my body slowly and find myself staring into Lisa's frightening red eyes. She was playing with something in her hands though I can't quite see what it was.

"I have to exercise a lot of patience when it comes to you and your family. First I have to wait for your mother to leave to go hunting. Then that watchdog Jacob she left behind refused to move. Then finally he fell asleep while he was supposed to be protecting you. Allowing me to sneak in here after disabling all the security cameras that is. Then I have to wait for you to wake up to give you this little speech,"

Once I remembered that I had already faced death I wasn't so scared anymore. Even if she did kill me I was no longer afraid of what would happen to me afterwards.

"You look so weak and pathetic already that I should just let nature take its course with you but I want you dead to badly to wait,"

"Why? Why do you want me dead so badly? What did I ever do to you?"

"What did you do to me? You exist! You were always so much more beautiful than I. You had the perfect family that loved you. Now you have two families that love you! You just got everything handed to you while I-"

"What the hell are you talking about? My life has been anything but easy. For goodness sakes I had to hideaway from my biological family just to keep tnem and myself safe. What did you ever have to fight for? You had the perfect rich girl life thanks to your father-"

"You mean thanks to my uncle. My real father is in prison. I bet neither one of your fathers ever hit you. Sexually abused you. Told you that you were a useless waste of space. Or threatened to kill you. I bet you also didn't have to watch helplessly as your father shot and killed your mother right in front of you when you were only seven years old. So tell me again who has had the harder life?"

I stayed silent.

"Meanwhile you just happened to be here. You had the perfect adoptive family. The perfect life. The perfect everything. I can't stand you. I'd rather kill you without having to lay a single finger on you. I was told vampire venom was deadly for your kind. So filled up this vial here with my venom since I didn't want to actually bite you. Oh and look there's the perfect way to give it to you," she pointed at my IV.

I screamed hoping to alert someone but it was too late. Somehow she knew how to open up the IV to inject the venom. As soon as it hit the bloodstream the burning began.

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	29. Burning

**Chapter 29: Burning**

 **Nessie's POV**

There was fire in my veins. It was the most agnozing thing that I had ever felt in my life. It took every ounce of strength I had left in me not to scream. I knew that I had to get out of here. The human doctors couldn't see me like this. I also knew that it wouldn't be long before I would no longer be able to hold in my screams. The fire was burning hotter and hotter by the second. The only evidence that proved that I was not really on fire is when I actually looked at my body.

The pain doubled when I got out of bed. I took the IV out of my arm although the damage was already done. The vemon was spreading consuming everything in their path. The only thing still attached to my body was the breathing machine. Thank God it was a portable machine that I could easily hall around behind me.

I looked out into the hallway and as soon as I was sure the coast was clear I headed for the exit as fast as I could. The fire burned hotter and hotter. I had to bite down on my lip to keep myself from screaming. I bit down so hard that I could taste blood oozing from my lip.

Getting out of the hospital was surprisingly easy thanks to Lisa disconnecting the security cameras. It was just sheer luck that I hadn't run into any of the hospital staff. I didn't know where to go once I had reached the street. I couldn't go home to my human mother because couldn't see me like this. I also knew that I wouldn't make it back to the Cullens either. I also didn't want to stay where I would be exposed to Lisa.

Then an idea hit me quickly. There was a landfill close by. If I could make it there I would hide out there. The nasty smell of trash and rotten food would mask my scent and keep my safe for the time being.

The fire intensified once again causing me to scream out for the first time. I fell forward and landed on my face. I got up slowly and with a lot of difficulty. Walked was extremely difficult but still doable. Soon the landfill came into sight. I collapsed just as I reached it. I had made it just in tims time because this time I would not have the strength to get up.

My brain barely registered the smell. The fire making its way through my veins was all my brain could really focus on. At least I could hide here for now while I burned. If the smell was horrid enough to scare humans away then surely it would keep a vampire's keen sense of smell at bay.

I tried my best to keep quiet as I burned. Because even though I was sure no human would come here I didn't want to run the risk of attracting anybody with my screams of agony. I was barely aware of the passing time. The sun rose, then set, then rose again, then set again all while the fire consumed every molecule of my body.

It was not until the third morning that something changed. The fire suddenly spiked in intensity. I screamed. There were other things I was beginning to notice as well. My vision was getting clearer by the second. My hearing was also getting stronger. At first all there had been was pure silence around me but now I was hearing things in the distance like people talking and car radios. My sense of smell was also becoming stronger and stronger.

I screamed as the fire grew in strength once again. My heart was beating faster and faster. Doing whatever it could to counteract the venom. Only nothing could stop the venom now. Then there was another change. I could feel the burning sensation fading in some parts of my body. It started off in my toes and my finger tips. Then it started spreading towards my legs and arms.

Whereas it faded in some parts of my body it strengthened in other parts. It was as if all the fire that was leaving the rest of my body suddenly only concentrated on one part. My heart. My heart was galloping faster than a horse in the Kentucky Derby. Then it vanished.

I took a look around me. I was alone. One hundred percent alone just as I had been for the past few days. Everything was so much clearer than before. Like my vision went from standard definition to ultra high definition overnight. I could hear a rat scurrying around the landfill. I could smell everything. When I realized I still had the breathing machine attached to me I took it off. To my shock I found that I didn't need it anymore. I could breathe just fine on my own.

I was a vampire. Or was I? I could feel my heart still beating although it was much much slower than usual. As soon as I decided to get up my feet reacted immediately and I jumped up with a lot more speed, grace, and agility than before.

There was a broken mirror amongst the garbage. I picked it up carefully and held it up to my face. I dropped the mirror in shock. My face was now just as pale as the rest of my vampire family and my eyes were blood red. The only thing I could not understand was my still beating heart. Was I only three fourths vampire?

The sudden burning in my throat eclipsed all of my other thoughts. Blood. I needed blood right now. The wind carried with it the some of the most delicious smells I have ever smelled in my entire life. The burning in my throat only grew stronger and stronger. The scent promised to quench the thirst.

My mind was only focused on one thing. Tracking the scent. So I didn't even realize when I ended up right in front of the police station.

"Renesmee?"

I turned my head and my eyes landed on my adoptive human mother.

"Nessie is that really you? What happened to you? Where have you been? Why are your eyes red? Do you know how worried I have been? You should see how worried the hospital staff, especially Dr. Cullen have all been,"

I had to hold my breath because the smell coming off my mother was nearly impossible to resist. I had to get away or what little self control I had would slip. I could hear her's and the baby's heart beating.

"Nessie say something!"

Instead I ran as fast as I possibly could without thinking and using vampire speed. I heard my mom gasp in the distance.

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	30. Bloodlust

**Chapter 30: Bloodlust**

 **Nessie's POV**

I didn't stop running until I was certain that I was a safe distance away from my human mother. The burning in my throat was still there. The intesity of the fire burning in my throat is stronger than what I remembered.

I tried the best I could to push my bloodlust to the back of my mind. I needed to get to my family. They were the only ones who would know how to help me. Or would they know how to help me? With every beat of my heart I was reminded that I was not a normal vampire. So what was I? I shook my head. I had the enhanced senses, the thirst for blood, the pale skin, red eyes...all signature traits of someone whose been turned into a vampire.

Thenl delicious smell of human blood only grew in intensity as I walked closer to the city again. I thought back to my time in heaven. Was this all part of God plan for me? What did he want me to as a vampire that I couldn't accomplish as a human? Maybe I just needed to be physically stronger for whatever grand plan that he had.

The smell of fresh human blood close by suddenly overwhelmed my senses. The thirst returned to the forefront of my mind. I began to trace the scent. I heard the sirens as I got closer and closer to the source of the scent. In the distance I could see a car accident. There was a woman lying on the floor bleeding. The smell coming off her was mouthwatering. I walked closer and closer.

Then I stopped dead in my tracks. I shook my head hard. No. I can't do this. I can't harm anyone. I wasn't a monster. But that blood! No. No. No. No. I shook my head again. I'm not going to kill anyone. I didn't come back from the dead to kill people. There wasn't much that I was certain of at the moment but I was certain of that.

I forced myself to walk away from the scene even though it was tearing me apart inside. My instincts were screaming at me. Telling me that I was crazy to walk away from the delicious blood. Maybe I was. I didn't know how my family dealt with this on a daily basis.

People looked at me weird they saw me. Some even looked downright scared. I didn't blame them. I would be scared if I saw someone walking around with blood red eyes. I would definitely miss my chocolate brown eyes.

Suddenly I caught another scent in the air. The scent took on a less pleasant odor as I got closer. It had just turned into a foul odor when I turned into a lonely alley. I stopped dead in my tracks when I came upon an extremely gruesome sight. There were two bodies, a man and a woman, lying there. They looked like they had been viciously attacked but by what I couldn't tell.

I heard then unmistakable _thump thump_ of a beating heart. When I listened closer I could make out the sound of two distinct heartbeats. Curiously I got up to go and investigate. I pushed the dumpster back when I determined the sound was coming from behind it.

A little girl of about two or three years old screamed and tried to run away. There was also a small baby boy there with her. The girl tripped and fell. The blood from her scraped knee was almost enough to ignite my blood thirst again.

"Get away from me!" she screamed. The terror in her eyes was gut wrenching.

"It's okay. You're safe,"

"No! You are a vampire! Just like the one that killed my momma and daddy!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! You are red just like hers!"

"No," I said. "They don't exist-"

"Yes they do! She killed my momma and daddy! I saw it! She laughed at me and told me it was because she was a vampire! Just like you are! You're going to kill me to! And my brother!"

It finally clicked in my brain right then and there. I put two and two together. The two bodies there were her parents. A vampire had killed her parents and drained them of blood right in front of her. My heart broke into a million pieces for her. I would've cried if it were possible.

The girl tried to scoot away from me when I approached her. "It's okay I'm not going to hurt you,"

"You're not?" she cried.

"No I'm not. You're right I am a vampire but you know what?"

"What?" she choked on a sob. "Not all vampires are bad. Some actually really nice,"

"Really?" she sobbed.

"Really," I answered. "What's your name?"

"Natalie," she answered tearfully. "What's your name?"

"Nessie,"

It took a few minutes but when she realized I was not going to hurt her she came to me.

"How old are you?" I asked her.

"Two," she answered.

My heart broke even more. I sighed. Who would kill a little girl's parents right in front of her like that? There weren't many vampires that got their blood solely from animals. Only my family and the Denalis actually. So I knew that the majority of vampires drank human blood. However it takes a certain kind of evil and sadistic to kill a child's parents right in from her and then to laugh at her on top of that.

I held the girl to my chest as she cried. I heard her stomach grumbling. I wondered how long she'd been out here. Didn't anyone notice she and her brother were missing? Wasn't anyone looking for these babies?

"I don't feel good," she coughed. I had noticed she was running a slight temperature but didn't think much of it until now.

"Do you have other family I can take you to?"

"No," she cried again. "Just momma and daddy,"

I put her down and went to pick up the baby boy who was still lying behind the dumpster as well. He was crying. A horrible odor came from his diaper. It obviously hadn't been changed in a few days.

I undid the diaper and cleaned him up as best as I could.

"His name Diego," Nataile said. "Like my daddy,"

"Well you know what? I'm going to take you both home with me. To my family,"

"No. What if they hurt me?"

"They won't. They're nice like me," I smiled at her.

I held her in one arm and her brother in the other. From there I would go straight home to the Cullens. I needed to get home before I lost control. The burning had returned and I had not had a single drop of blood since waking up.

More importantly though these kids needed help. They needed to see a doctor urgently. Then afterwards they would figure out what to do with them. It was just to bad that nobody in my family wanted kids. These two could use a loving family like mine right now.

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	31. Strange

**Chapter 31: Strange**

 **Nessie's POV**

I was determined to make it home without incident. Natalie hung to me tightly. I could feel her small fingers grasping onto my shirt. Meanwhile her baby brother just stared up at me curiously. I could feel the burning at the back of my throat but somehow I managed to keep it at bay. Although I was not sure how much longer I would be able to do keep ignoring it. Which I found to be rather odd. From what my family had told me about vampires I knew that it was basically impossible for a newborn vampires to ignore their thirst. So why could I so easily do it? Okay maybe _easily_ was not the correct word for it but it sure seemed easier than what my family described.

Did it have something to do with the fact that my heart was still beating? I didn't know. I had so many questions and so few answers. So very few answers. People looked at me fearfully as I passed by them. Some of them backed away from me as soon as they saw me. I tried not to take any of it personally. I mean I would be scared if I saw someone with bright red eyes if I didn't know about the existence of vampires.

All of a sudden the most repulsive, revolting scent that I had ever come across hit my nose. I nearly doubled over and barfed. I took deep breaths to steady my heart and ease the nauseating feeling.

"Nessie are you okay?" Natalie's sweet voice caught me completely off guard. The girl hadn't said a single word in almost twenty minutes.

"Yes I'm okay,"

"You look sick," she said. For being only two years old she was very smart and observant.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm fine," I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince more. Her or myself. The truth was I still felt like I was going to toss my cookies at any second. Then it happened. I felt the bile rising up from my stomach. I put the two children down and ran to the nearest trash can just in time for my stomach to empty itself. I hadn't eaten anything since before the transformation. Not even a sip of water or blood. It was very odd looking. Unlike any vomit I had ever seen before. It was a very clear like substance. Before I could think about it too much it happened again. My stomach heaved over and over as it emptied itself. Once I was done I looked at the mess again. It was the strangest looking vomit I'd ever seen. If I didn't know any better I would have to guess that it was venom. But vampires don't throw up venom. As a matter of fact vampires didn't throw up at all. This was all so strange.

Once I was sure I wouldn't throw up again I looked up from the trash can. Natalie just stood there waiting for me. Her baby brother, Diego, laying on the ground beside her.

"You are sick," she said.

"No I'm not," I insisted even though I was not sure anymore.

"Then why did you throw up? My momma says that you don't do that unless you're sick or you're going to have a baby,"

I didn't know how to respond to her question so I just ignored it instead. I picked up the kids again and resumed my journey home as if nothing had happened. Then the smell hit me again and it happened again. This time I didn't even make it to a trash can. Once I was able to gather myself I continued on again. I had to at least make it home to my family and get these kids some much needed medical attention. Natalie's fever told me that she was the one that I needed to worry about. Not myself.

I heard an animal howling in the distance. Curious as to what it was I followed the sound of the distressed animal. Five minutes later I saw the animal and then I realized it was not just any animal. It was a familiar huge reddish brown wolf. Only he didn't notice me as he continued howling in a sad haunting kind of way.

"Jacob?"

His head instantly whipped around in my direction. First their was surprise, then shock, then happiness. He ran toward me as fast as he could. Natalie screamed and held onto me even tighter. I tried to calm her but it was obvious that overexcited wolf Jacob was scaring her. Jacob licked my face nonstop. His tail wagging harder than any dog's I'd ever seen before. I smiled. Momentarily I forgot about everything that was worrying me.

"Scary," Natalie cried.

"It's okay," I whispered to her. "He's a friend,"

"Friend?"

"Do you have a dog?"

She nodded her head _yes._ "Well Jacob here is better than any other dog on the planet,"

From the expression on his face I could tell that Jacob was not amused by my comments. But I think he was too happy to see me alive, well sort of, to really care anyway.

"Where is the rest of my family?"

Jacob looked at me and then started walking away. Then he stopped to look back at me. Then I realized that he wanted me to follow him. From there he lead me back to the familiar Cullen household. Immediately I picked up on the various scents of my family members. Most of them were faded which told me that most of them had not been home in awhile. I realized, with a shudder, that they had probably been out looking for me all this time.

As I was walking up the stairs the door suddenly swung open wide. My grandfather looked at me in shock. As if he couldn't figure out who or what I was.

"Hey grandpa," I smiled.

"Nessie?"

"Yeah it's me,"

Before I could even blink he was hugging me tightly. "Nessie my God we have been looking all over for you. What happened? How did you become a-"

"It's a long story,"

Natalie whimpered fearfully. "It's okay," I whispered to her. That was when my grandfather took notice of her and her infant brother.

"Where did these kids come from?"

"I found them on the streets by themselves. They're orphans. Their parents were killed by vampires. But I think they're sick. They need your help right now grandpa. Can we come in?"

"You're right and I think one of them has an irregular heartbeat. It sounds like there is three heartbeats here instead of two. Bring them and I will check them over,"

Irregular heartbeat? Then it hit me like a bulldozer. My grandfather believed that the sound of my heart beating was just the result of an irregularity in one of the kids. How would he react if he found it was my own heart still beating? Should I tell him about the vomiting episodes earlier? No. I should keep that part to myself. At least for now. I didn't want to add anymore stress to my poor family than I already have.

"Where is everyone else?"

"They're out looking for you. I stayed home on the very slim chance you came home on your own,"

The nausea hit me again. Thankfully though this time I didn't get sick.

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	32. Medical Mystery

**Chapter 32: Medical Mystery**

 **Nessie's POV**

My mind refused to process what was going on with my body. I was a vampire yet my heart was still beating. Also, I was getting sick. Nausea hit me in waves causing me to vomit. So I was not a normal vampire. That much I knew. But exactly was I?

That was a question that my mind kept contemplating over as Carlisle took care of Natalie and Diego. The sick little girl and baby boy I'd brought in. My heart really hurt for those two. I could not even begin to imagine what it was like for them to witness another vampire kill their parents.

Suddenly I felt something wet between my legs. Confused as to what it could be I decided to go to the bathroom to see what it was. I shook my head as I stood up. Nothing about my body was making any sense to me. Lisa had turned me into a vampire. She had inserted her venom into my body intravenously via IV. I had the pale ice cold skin, the red eyes characteristic of all newborns, and vampire speed, strength, eye sight, and sense of smell. By all accounts I should be full vampire. So why was my heart beating? Why was I getting nauseous and vomiting? What was that wet feeling in my underwear?

I closed the door and switched on the light in the bathroom. I quickly yanked off my pants and underwear. I froze in shock at what I saw. A million thoughts were racing through my head and none of it made any sense. There was blood in my underwear. Now I was well aware that I was due to get my period soon but that was before my transformation from human to vampire. Vampires didn't get periods!

Yet the evidence was there. Bright red in my underwear. So what did this mean for me? For my future? I thought back to the time I died mistakingly and went to heaven. My mission on Earth wasn't over and I was sent back. Then immediately I'm transformed into this heart beating, vomiting, period getting vampire creature thing. So where was all of this leading me? Was this all part of some mysterious plan from God?

I looked in the drawer to see if there were any pads. My family had stocked some here just for me. Thankfully I had almost a full pack her still. I couldn't believe that I still needed these as a vampire.

I didn't know what to think or believe. I did know one thing however. I couldn't keep this from my family. They were bound to notice I wasn't a _normal_ vampire. I had to say something. Maybe my grandfather could do some tests and find out what's going on. So I ran out of the bathroom as fast as I could and to my grandfather's office.

"Grandpa,"

He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me. Seeing the alarm in my eyes he asked "Nessie what's wrong? Why do you look scared?"

"Because I don't know what's wrong grandpa. I need to-"

"Is it your thirst? Do you need to go hunt? Try to relax Nessie. Your heart is beating so fast it might-" he stopped speaking once he realized what he said and that he was right. His eyes went wide with shock.

"Exactly grandpa," I said. "It's not just that. Other stuff is happening to and I need to talk to you,"

Grandpa nodded at me without saying a word. I watched as he finished up with Natalie and Diego. Apparently they were in the early stages of pneumonia. So they needed lots of rest and medicine. They would most likely recover without any problems. I wish I could say figuring me out would be that simple.

"This doesn't make any sense," my grandfather said once he had returned. "Your heart should not be beating it is just not possible,"

"I don't understand what's going on grandpa," I said. "Lisa is the one who turned me into a vampire. She used my IV to inject me with her venom. I was barely able to escape from the hospital before I succumbed to the venom in a dumpster. I was on fire. I could feel the fire burning in my bones for three days. By all accounts I should be a normal vampire right now but I'm not! I'm vomiting and I just started my period for chrissake!" I was starting to get hysterical now.

My grandfather's ice cold arms embraced me in a tight hug. "It's okay Nessie. We're going to figure this out. I promise,"

"How? I'm a freak!"

"Nessie you are not a freak! You are just a medical mystery. The biggest medical mystery I have ever come across in my more than 350 years on this planet. But we will figure it out. I promise I won't rest until I figure out what is going on with you,"

"So what are we going to do?"

"First I need a blood sample," he said as he got the needle ready. "So you've been vomiting?"

"Yes I'm throwing up what I think is venom,"

"That is strange,"

"It's all strange,"

"I also can't get the needle through your skin,"

"It's impenetrable?" I asked.

"Just like normal vampire skin," he said. "So instead I will take a saliva sample,"

"Why are you so calm right now grandpa? I'm really freaking out over here!"

"Oh believe me Nessie I am freaking out on the inside. I have no idea what is going on with you and that terrifies me. You're a huge medical mystery. Probably the biggest one in the history or medicine. Why am I calm? Because panicking never does any good. I've had many years of practice when it comes to staying levelheaded,"

"Wow,"

"But right now our family is arriving. We need to tell them what is going on with you,"

I gulped nervously.

 **Wow I can't believe it has been exactly one year since I posted the first chapter to this story. Where did the time go? Anyway Happy Halloween! Reviews make nice treats!**


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